We watch shitty movies, so you don't have to…
New Zealand is beautiful. I’d want to live there some day, if it weren’t for Russell Crowe and all the zombies, deranged muppets, murderers, ghosts, hobbits…and ALIENS! Peter Jackson’s first film seems at first to be a traditional tale of alien invasion. Turns out that the aliens are harvesting humans to sell in their outer […]
Barry Sonnenfeld could do worse than than continuing to release ‘Men in Black’ movies for the rest of his life. In fact, the world would be a much better place if he did. Keeping in mind some of the other dreck that he’s unleashed on humanity (Wild Wild West and Big Trouble, I’m looking at […]
God and aliens do not mix. They don’t. If God exists as Christians perceive him, the existence of aliens is impossible within that paradigm. The creation of any other non-earthbound creature is not even hinted at in the bible, except for of course, angels – and I doubt anyone would make the case for angels […]
That blue thing is EVIL. Pure, unadulterated evil. I went to see Episode II a couple of weeks ago, and as I was walking down the hallway of the lobby, I swear that little bastard tried to jump out of the poster and get me. All sweet and innocent as you walk by, but then […]
Light Sabre wielding Yoda kicks ass! I doubt I am ruining anything about the film by proclaiming the kickass-ness of Yoda’s fight scene. Is it possible that there is anyone left on the planet that has not seen Episode II yet? I saw it a few weeks ago – I didn’t quite make it on […]
Cool, but dumb. I think I got Red Planet confused with Mission to Mars, because I was expecting it to suck way more than it did. Haven’t really been in the mood to go out to a movie lately. Not sure why, but it’s probably because the Nation as a whole is pretty fucked up […]
I don’t think that I would mind a humming penis. Mike Nichols is traditionally a purveyor of mediocre ‘American’ films – after The Graduate, where else to go is there, but down? But since Garry Shandling had a big hand in this one, I found it to be above his average game. Garry Shandling is […]
Another Alien remake. Not that it’s such a bad thing. It’s pretty hard to avoid Alien comparisons, no matter what the Aliens look like, what the situation is, who the cast is. Pitch Black is one of the few films that I have seen lately that holds up to the Alien comparisons, even beyond them. […]
Starring Sigourney Weaver’s boobs. Like April said, if Ebert gave it a thumbs up, then I don’t go see it. But somebody didn’t want to go see Next Friday, so we went and saw this instead. Actually, it was funny as hell. Tim Allen makes me want to wretch, but his ego fit the role […]
Jar Jar Binks must die! In the immortal words of Dante (Clerks, not the Inferno) “Jedi was nothing but a bunch of muppets…” And the same could be said about The Phantom Menace. Given, they are CG muppets, but a muppet is still a muppet. Not that I did not love Episode One, because I […]