Horton Hears a Who!

September 22nd was Elephant Appreciation Day, so we started watching Horton Hears A Who! Anyone who knows my daughter, knows about ELEPHANT. Since she was less than a year old, she has dragged around this ratty little stuffed elephant. It used to be light green, but now it’s kinda grey. Her obsession with this stuffed […]

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

Few things give me nightmares these days, but hearing Alvin the chipmunk tell someone that he’s going to eat their liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti sent chills down my spine. He even did that slurpy, tongue flicking thing. This can only mean one of two things. Either Alvin is a serial […]

Kung Fu Panda

Now that Jack Black is a daddy, he’s got to start churning out films that his kids can watch. Kung Fu Panda is certainly watchable. I wasn’t sure that Jack Black could translate his trademark vulgar humor into kid friendly fare, but he picked the right vehicle and the right character. I mean come one, […]

Bee Movie

Jerry Seinfeld brings children a movie about “bee-stiality.” Oh, come on, it was funny! Don’t you appreciate puns? Bee Movie is one of the worst films that I have been subjected to (recently) through my children. It’s simply horrible and full of misinformation about simple ecological processes. Plants don’t just die when they are not […]

Ratatouille

I was trying to think of a way to introduce my son to my favorite comic – Patton Oswalt – and Pixar came through for me. My son only made it through the first 13 minutes the first time we tried to watch Ratatouille. The scene in which Remy is separated from his family was […]

Barnyard

All of the bovines, regardless of their sex, have udders. The description of the film makes it sound like Animal Farm or something, but really it’s just a weak remake of The Lion King. We already know that Oedekerk is a big Lion King fan – Mu-Shu Fasa! The only reason that I didn’t turn […]

Shrek the Third

“Willy Wonka” might be about to lose his place as my son’s favorite movie. “Shrek Babies” was the overwhelming favorite over the holidays. My son was the fortunate recipient of all three Shrek movies, courtesy of Grandpa and Grandma. I tried to go the logical route and start him off watching Shrek, but he was […]

The Incredibles

Ohhhh PIXAR…I was on the fence, but now I’ve decided. PIXAR good. Dreamworks not so good. I’m sorry Dreamworks…we can still be friends, right? It’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t like you in that way. I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you. Am I seeing someone else? No, of course […]

Over the Hedge

The Bruce Willis Raccoon tries to steal food from the Nick Nolte Bear, but gets caught in the act and the food gets destroyed. Nick Nolte Bear demands replacement in a week or he’ll eat Bruce Willis Raccoon. Bruce Willis Raccoon encounters a family of forest critters led by the Garry Shandling Turtle. Bruce Willis […]

Shrek 2

How do a donkey and a dragon have sex? I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around that one. Seriously, I cannot figure it out. On to less disturbing subjects…Shrek 2 picks up immediately after the end of Shrek with Shrek and Fiona’s honeymoon. (Okay, maybe implied Ogre-sex on the beach isn’t less disturbing.) […]