Big Trouble in Little China

The last time that I ever went to the movies with my dad was to go see Big Trouble in Little China. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was July 4, 1986 – a Sunday, if I remember correctly. We saw the movie and then went home to shoot off fireworks. Almost immediately, […]

Undercover Brother

Back, White She-Devil! Okay, I knew from the get go that Denise Richards was in Undercover Brother. She was on the cover of the DVD for chrissakes. And who doesn’t remember the stink she kicked up when she claimed that all the billboard advertisements were airbrushed to give her a ghetto booty? 37 minutes. It […]

Shanghai Knights

I had a migraine when I left the theater – probably because I rolled my eyes so many times. It sucked…but it was on the better end of suckdom. It didn’t suck as much as Spy Game, but it was still miles below Shanghai Noon in quality. I’ll be generous and give it 2 BOBs […]

The One

There can be only one….hahahhahahhahahahahha. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. How could I have not made a Highlander comparison? I guess I could have gone the Lays route – “You can’t eat The One” – but that’s kind of gross. Seriously though, there is nothing Highlander-like about the film and that’s a good thing. Originally, The […]

Blade II

Whistler is alive! Actually, I was surprised at how well bringing him back worked. Of course, I knew from all the commercials that he was back – and that alone gave me misgivings about the film – I hate it when filmmakers just ignore it when people die! But making him a vampire prisoner was […]

Charlie’s Angels

It didn’t suck as bad as I thought it would. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Nov 19, 2017 at 10:33am PST I never really liked the TV show. It just didn’t have the cheezy panache of say, Knight Rider or The A-Team, or even Manimal. I would rather watch 20 hours of Teletubbies […]

Shanghai Noon

Better than Mission: Impossible 2. Yes – for once I am agreeing with critics… There was a lot of ass-kicking action – though it was all rather tame, but unlike John Woo – it is okay for Jackie Chan to make a PG-13 film. Expected even. The film should have been subtitled Dignan’s Next Score. […]

Crippled Masters

This is the single weirdest kung fu movie I have seen since The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires. This movie was Ba-aaa-add! It is about these two kung fu badasses…sounds normal, except one has no arms and one has no legs. Excuse me, that is an oversimplification. One has no arms, but on one […]

Twin Dragons

Cheech and Chong did it better. Another rehash of the Corsican Brothers, Twin Dragons has Jackie Chan playing twins separated at birth. The one who stays with the biological parents becomes a famous concert pianist and conductor, while the lost twin is raised by the alcoholic partygirl who found him. They meet when the conductor […]

The Matrix

This film is so green. And as Kermit would say, it ain’t easy being green. When I say this film is green, I literally mean that the color green permeates the film. Not only is green the dominant color of the sets and background, but even the lighting in many scenes is green. The Matrix […]