Avengers: Age of Ultron

So we started to watch Agents of SHIELD the other night and it took about 30 seconds to realize, “FUCK, this is happening after the movie.” So we stopped the DVR and watched Gotham instead… SO MANY PREVIEWS. Although there wasn’t a preview for Pitch Perfect 2, we were treated to a lady razor commercial […]

The Wolverine

Why was he in the fucking hole? The movie never fucking explained why he was in the fucking hole at Nagasaki. What the fucking fuck? Sorry for all the fucks, but stuff like that really bothers me. Of course, I could think of nothing else during the whole film, waiting for it to come up […]

The Avengers

Finally! I finally got to see The Avengers. It wasn’t how I wanted to see it – in 3D, but that hardly matters. Even under less than ideal circumstances – watching it on a six inch screen, while sitting on an airplane next to a sugared up four year old, ultimately taking 5 hours to […]

Captain America: The First Avenger

I was excited to see that Captain America finally showed up on Netflix this month…if only because I might still have a chance to see The Avengers in the theater. As irritating as Chris Evan was as the cocky Human Torch, he was only slightly less irritating as the not at all cocky Captain America. […]

Thor

If I had been a boy, my parents would have named me Thor. True story. I once dressed as Thor for Halloween. Sexy Thor. 1995. Last year, I dressed as Flavor Flav, but I had to buy a new Viking hat, because my old one was hidden in my hoarder piles of shit. True story. […]

Iron Man 2

Why does Iron Man have his own cheerleaders?!? If he’s the Hugh Hefner of Superheroes, shouldn’t he have strippers? I was SO excited that they replaced Terence Howard with Don Cheadle, but when it came down to it, I don’t know if Don Cheadle was right for the role either. I can’t think of someone […]

Iron Man

I want to see The Avengers. I want to see it in 3D. But my husband doesn’t want to go see it until he he sees all the films leading up to it, so we’re in a mad dash to see them all while The Avengers is still in the theaters. So here we go… […]

The Incredible Hulk

How horrible must a film be to require a complete franchise reboot five years later? The answer is Ang Lee’s attempt to make an arthouse film out of Hulk in 2003. (I’ll also accept repeated attempts at The Punisher in 1989, 2004 and 2008.) Eric Bana is butt ugly and his ears bother the shit […]