Death to the Supermodels

While I appreciate the idea of supermodels having toxic booty gas, nappy underarm hair and hidden penises, it’s just not enough to base a movie on. The world’s five top supermodels travel to a remote tropical island for a photo shoot, where they get picked off by a serial killer. Is it the annoyingly perky […]

House of 1000 Corpses

Recent disappointments in mind, I was quite surprised to find that not only did House of 1000 Corpses indeed feature a house, but also included approximately 1,000 corpses. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Nov 24, 2017 at 12:50pm PST I’m getting ahead of myself here. House of 1000 Corpses is Rob Zombie’s labor […]

Saw

Now that Saw III is in the theater, I figure I might as well watch the first one. Number one reason to watch Saw – Cary Elwes. I used to have such a crush on him in Junior High/High School. He was Westley, for chrissakes! I watched Hot Shots! and Robin Hood: Men in Tights […]

Gacy

I know you are, but what am I? It was an interesting experience to see Francis (Pee Wee’s Big Adventure) burying teenage boys in his crawlspace instead of stealing bikes. Mark Holton has evolved from playing Pee Wee Herman’s nemesis to playing a real life serial killer – John Wayne Gacy. Although I began watching […]

Serial Killing 101

This movie brought to you by Marilyn Manson and Taco Bell. Although none of Manson’s music was featured in the film, his music was mentioned frequently as an influence and his ugly mug was featured prominently on posters and t-shirts. Of course, a high school student desirous of a career in serial killing would listen […]

M

After sitting on my DVR for 2 years, I finally got around to watching M this past weekend. I’d forgotten how hard it is to watch a movie with subtitles, especially with a 19 month old running around the living room. Luckily, German words are twice as long as English ones and I had plenty […]

Office Killer

My office needs one of these. All kidding aside, every office has at least one. One person that is undeniably, certifiably insane. Batshit, Nutso, Loco, the elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor. We’ve got a guy who hears voices, one of which is Jesus. We even have a guy who refers […]

I Know What You Did Last Summer

So…the obvious question – Scream vs. I Know What You Did Last Summer. Again, I’m coming to the party late. Having seen Scream shortly after it was released on video, I have an automatic bias towards Scream. Scream netted 2 sequels, while I Know What You Did Last Summer netted only one – and it […]

Student Bodies

Before Scary Movie, there was Student Bodies. I certainly don’t mean to imply that Student Bodies invented the horror spoof – or even perfected it…both honors that belong to Mel Brooks. But it definitely holds a special place in my heart – because it’s just SO FUCKING GOOFY. The rubber chicken? The horsehead bookends? The […]

Do You Wanna Know a Secret?

Do you wanna know a secret? This movie makes no fucking sense – that’s the secret. I was hoping for a cheesy slasher movie with a decent amount of blood and gore. At first, I thought it was trying to be a lame rip-off of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. It […]