Ant-Man

It’s been like a zillion years since we’ve had a family movie night…I guess technically, it wasn’t really a family movie night, since Lily wanted nothing to do with Ant-Man, instead barricading herself under her bed with Netflix and my cat. I’m trying to remember when Paul Rudd first hit my consciousness…it wasn’t Clueless, because […]

Thor: The Dark World

I started writing this review last summer, when I originally watched Thor 2 on cable…my thoughts will be briefer, but possibly more favorable than when I originally watched it. This film was made for the ladies, right? A shirtless viking god, pining over the nerdy scientist girl, even though he has a hottie asskicker at […]

Avengers: Age of Ultron

So we started to watch Agents of SHIELD the other night and it took about 30 seconds to realize, “FUCK, this is happening after the movie.” So we stopped the DVR and watched Gotham instead… SO MANY PREVIEWS. Although there wasn’t a preview for Pitch Perfect 2, we were treated to a lady razor commercial […]

The Wolverine

Why was he in the fucking hole? The movie never fucking explained why he was in the fucking hole at Nagasaki. What the fucking fuck? Sorry for all the fucks, but stuff like that really bothers me. Of course, I could think of nothing else during the whole film, waiting for it to come up […]

The Avengers

Finally! I finally got to see The Avengers. It wasn’t how I wanted to see it – in 3D, but that hardly matters. Even under less than ideal circumstances – watching it on a six inch screen, while sitting on an airplane next to a sugared up four year old, ultimately taking 5 hours to […]

Thor

If I had been a boy, my parents would have named me Thor. True story. I once dressed as Thor for Halloween. Sexy Thor. 1995. Last year, I dressed as Flavor Flav, but I had to buy a new Viking hat, because my old one was hidden in my hoarder piles of shit. True story. […]

Iron Man 2

Why does Iron Man have his own cheerleaders?!? If he’s the Hugh Hefner of Superheroes, shouldn’t he have strippers? I was SO excited that they replaced Terence Howard with Don Cheadle, but when it came down to it, I don’t know if Don Cheadle was right for the role either. I can’t think of someone […]

X-Men: First Class

Forget Wolverine, I totally have a crush on Magneto now. Michael Fassbender hasn’t even been on my radar until now. My movie watching has been sporadic at best – I haven’t seen 300, or even Inglorious Basterds, although I’ve had both in my DVR at times. (I lost 300 when we moved a few years […]

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I’m back, bitches…did you miss me? It’s not that I’ve been procrastinating…I really haven’t seen any new movies in the past 3 months…none, nada, zip. My DVR is chock full, but I’ve been watching TV lately…lame excuse, I know… Hugh Jackman, I totally forgive you for Van Helsing and Viva Laughlin. Come give Knobby a […]

Batman

“Mommy, they sure do spend a lot of time together…” Four years old son’s gaydar is already strong – I’m so proud! It only took about 15 minutes to come to the conclusion that something isn’t right about those two…and these are the ones without nipples on their costumes. Regardless of their sexual orientation, my […]