Bridesmaids

Is it any wonder that when I got married, I had no bridesmaids, no bridal shower, and almost none of the normal shenanigans that accompany most weddings? (I DID have a bachelorette party, an amazing bacchanalian event that I barely remember, although I’m not quite sure if the faded memory is due to the ravages […]

Clue

Clue…the original movie based on a board game. We’re back on track with family movie night and after scrolling through Netflix for half an hour, we switched to Amazon Prime, looking for Beastmaster, after suspecting that Conan the Destroyer might be a bit too violent. But before we found Beastmaster, we found Clue. A post […]

21 Jump Street

All the little teen girls can have Zac Efron. Robert Pattison and Taylor Lautner do nothing for me either. Ryan Gosling…again, not interested. But when it comes to Channing Tatum, I do understand…there’s something about him that makes me want to rip his picture out of magazines and plaster them all over my cubicle. It’s […]

Team America: World Police

America – FUCK YEAH! Seriously, why haven’t we officially changed our national anthem to that song yet? I would much rather hear that song before every sports event than our current national anthem. Those who know me, know I like puppets. Especially fucking puppets. My obsession started early with The Muppet Show. As an adult, […]

Superbad

“It’s filthy, but it’s no Pink Flamingos.” That was my response when Sean told me that it was the filthiest movie he had ever seen – I had to remind him that back in 1997, I dragged him to go see the 25th anniversary re-release of Pink Flamingos. He then amended his statement to say […]

Get Him to the Greek

Why does Russell Brand have a career again? Seriously, I don’t get it – he’s not all that funny. And when he is funny, it’s so far over the line, that he’s guilted into apologizing for it later. (His Jonas Brothers jokes, for example…) He should take a page from Ricky Gervais and Sacha Baron […]

Gnomeo & Juliet

You may not know this, but my backyard is full of garden gnomes. The pink flamingos are packed away in the garage, as the evil HOA guidelines specifically prohibits plastic lawn ornaments. But there’s also a gargoyle on the birdbath and a three foot tall lady statue. Needless to say, if all the statues in […]

Grandma’s Boy

The good thing about having friends – besides getting into shenanigans – is forcing them to watch movies you love. So after forcing Amy to watch Carrie (They’re all gonna laugh at you!), she forced me to watch Grandma’s Boy. She’d been after me for probably a year to see it, even lent me the […]

Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Honestly, that should be the entire body of my review, but after such a lazy review of Æon Flux, I figured I should work a little harder…although it’s not like I get paid by the word to entertain my readers. Or get paid AT ALL for that matter…besides, it’s going to take […]

Hot Tub Time Machine

Crispin Glover makes ALL movies better…but especially movies about time travel. Seriously, if I had realized that Crispin Glover was in Hot Tub Time Machine, chances are I would have seen it a lot sooner. Hot Tub Time Machine is the answer to the eternal question, “What if real life happened to Lane Meyer?” (Or […]