Team America: World Police

America – FUCK YEAH! Seriously, why haven’t we officially changed our national anthem to that song yet? I would much rather hear that song before every sports event than our current national anthem. Those who know me, know I like puppets. Especially fucking puppets. My obsession started early with The Muppet Show. As an adult, […]

Superbad

“It’s filthy, but it’s no Pink Flamingos.” That was my response when Sean told me that it was the filthiest movie he had ever seen – I had to remind him that back in 1997, I dragged him to go see the 25th anniversary re-release of Pink Flamingos. He then amended his statement to say […]

Get Him to the Greek

Why does Russell Brand have a career again? Seriously, I don’t get it – he’s not all that funny. And when he is funny, it’s so far over the line, that he’s guilted into apologizing for it later. (His Jonas Brothers jokes, for example…) He should take a page from Ricky Gervais and Sacha Baron […]

Gnomeo & Juliet

You may not know this, but my backyard is full of garden gnomes. The pink flamingos are packed away in the garage, as the evil HOA guidelines specifically prohibits plastic lawn ornaments. But there’s also a gargoyle on the birdbath and a three foot tall lady statue. Needless to say, if all the statues in […]

Grandma’s Boy

The good thing about having friends – besides getting into shenanigans – is forcing them to watch movies you love. So after forcing Amy to watch Carrie (They’re all gonna laugh at you!), she forced me to watch Grandma’s Boy. She’d been after me for probably a year to see it, even lent me the […]

Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Honestly, that should be the entire body of my review, but after such a lazy review of Æon Flux, I figured I should work a little harder…although it’s not like I get paid by the word to entertain my readers. Or get paid AT ALL for that matter…besides, it’s going to take […]

Hot Tub Time Machine

Crispin Glover makes ALL movies better…but especially movies about time travel. Seriously, if I had realized that Crispin Glover was in Hot Tub Time Machine, chances are I would have seen it a lot sooner. Hot Tub Time Machine is the answer to the eternal question, “What if real life happened to Lane Meyer?” (Or […]

Frankenhood

I had high hopes for this film when it started out with Charlie Murphy as a mad scientist named “Franklin”, but they all went out the window when he got electrocuted 10 minutes into the film. Frankenhood had more in common with Friday than Frankenstein, with all the pot smoking and bullying. Even so, the […]

Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax

I didn’t think that there could be a worse adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book than Horton Hears a Who! Oh, I was so wrong… I don’t remember if I was in kindergarten or first grade, but I remember sitting in the music room, watching the original 70s version of The Lorax. All I remember […]

Beetlejuice

So we’re trying to get back in the habit of exposing our children to the stuff we liked as kids, instead of either letting them choose (which means hours of Spongebob and iCarly reruns or Toy Story 3) or forcing them to watch what we’re watching (usually Hoarders, inappropriate sitcoms or Hockey). Since both our […]