Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

After destroying every landmark in America over the last four movies, the 5th Sharknado movie goes global, with the latest Sharknado erupting out of a cave beneath Stonehenge. There’s not much to the plot. The Sharknado came back and now it can teleport you to anywhere on the planet. Yup, it can pick you up […]

X-Men: Apocalypse

While I agree with Jean Grey that the third one’s always the worst, X-Men: Apocalypse isn’t a bad movie. It merely suffers in that it wasn’t as good as the first two. (I think we can all agree that Last Stand was much stinkier than Apocalypse ever dreamt of being.) Sure, it was a bit […]

Batman v Superman: The Dawn of Justice

As the opening credits rolled, I couldn’t stop laughing. Maggie and Negan as Bruce Wayne’s parents was so stinking cute! My husband just rolled his eyes…he doesn’t watch The Walking Dead. I was a bit worried that not seeing Man of Steel would be a problem as I sat down to watch Batman v Superman, […]

Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens

Why did Sharknado 4 have to open with a Star Wars-esque opening crawl? Was it because they gave Tara Reid a Light Saber hand? First there was a shark sandnado in Vegas, then a shark bouldernado in the Grand Canyon, followed by a shark oilnado/firenado in Texas. A shark lightningnado heads toward Kansas. Cue Wizard […]

Captain America: Civil War

We made it! A few weeks after opeing weekend, but we made it to the theater to see Civil War. I missed The Force Awakens and Deadpool, but I wasn’t about to miss Civil War. Before I jump in, let’s talk trailers. The most anticipated of the bunch was first – Doctor Strange. Even though […]

3 Headed Shark Attack

If two heads are better than one, are three heads better than two? So…the 3 Headed Shark is angered by ocean pollution, but it eats the sea garbage, which drives it insane and it starts attacking. This movie makes no fucking sense. It is also somehow a sequel to 2 Headed Shark Attack, but HOW??? […]

Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

You know, if Mark Cuban ran for president, I’d probably vote for him. Sure, he’s as big a dick as Trump, but he hasn’t filed for bankruptcy half a dozen times. That being said, I’d probably vote for David Hasselhoff before any of the assholes we have running right now. In the first movie, Sharknado […]

Jurassic World

I’ll spare you the lame jokes about how this summer’s crop of blockbusters is a throwback to the 90s – dinosaurs, terminators and vacations, oh my! (OK, maybe just one…) Chris Pratt’s earnest animal trainer was the perfect foil to the rest of the cast’s perfectly clichéd villains. There was never a moment that the […]

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

I don’t remember much of 1997, but I know I somehow missed watching The Lost World. I think I’ve seen bits and pieces in passing, but I’ve never sat down and watched it intentionally… Plan B…or in this case, Island B. Of course, there’s a second island, where they’ve bred the dinosaurs and allowed them […]

Thor: The Dark World

I started writing this review last summer, when I originally watched Thor 2 on cable…my thoughts will be briefer, but possibly more favorable than when I originally watched it. This film was made for the ladies, right? A shirtless viking god, pining over the nerdy scientist girl, even though he has a hottie asskicker at […]