Night of the Demons (1988)


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How have I never seen this before? My husband decided to torture us with this 80s classic.

Notable cast is…Kurt Kelly from Heathers and the one and only Linnea Quigley. What the fuck, lipstick titty?

Angela is the goth queen we all deserve. Yes, the film takes place on Halloween, but why do I feel like she dresses like that every day? Sal’s face during her bizarro dance scene was the exact look on every normie’s face when they wandered into The Church. [NOTE: The Church was goth club in Dallas, active during the 90s and early 00s. Author may have looked as nutty as Angela did while dancing there.]

There are some great lines (“Eat a bowl of fuck!”, “Do you guys have sour balls?”), as well as some truly ridiculous sight gags. The effects are about what you’d expect for the 80s…except for the demon at the end…that demon looked like a claymation crawfish! This is a horror CLASSIC, dammit! And there are two sequels out for us to enjoy!

I had no idea that they remade this in 2009 with Shannon Elizabeth. I bet it sucks.

Pet Sematary II


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Remember the early 90s, when Edward Furlong was in every fucking movie? What a time to be alive.

I can’t remember for sure, but I might even have seen it in the theater? Or maybe we just rented it – I feel like my mind is going…I cannot remember things like that anymore!

This movie has fuck-all to do with the original, except for the Pet Sematary itself. I mean, the bad teens tell the crazy story of the Creed Murders, but that’s it. Oh, and the nutty ass Vet talks about Church.

Oh, and I blew my kids’ minds when I told then that the bad guy Gus was also Mr. Krabs.

I need to find the soundtrack in a flea market or something – I forgot how good it was. L7 Shitlist, more famous for appearing in Natural Born Killers just a few years later. The rest is just BAU, heavy 90s stuff.

It was really unclear to me in that nightmare scene – was Anthony Edwards having sex with that dog? I mean, he was dreaming about having sex with his ex-wife and she had the dog’s head. He wakes up, mid-thrust and O-face, and the dog is on top of him. My husband says NO, because he was still wearing his slacks, but I don’t know…

We all agreed that this one wasn’t as good as the first one, but still a fun watch. Now Lily wants to watch Carrie – I cannot WAIT to see if it traumatizes her as much as it did me!

The Midnight Hour

I rarely review TV movies – in fact, this is my first – but as this was one of the formative films of my childhood, I thought I’d break the rules a little bit.

Halloween 1985. I was in 4th grade at Holleman Elementary. All my friends had seen the movie and it was a source of constant speculation for weeks. “What exactly had Vernon Nestor done that was so bad?” “How come Sandy was the only one not decayed?” “So Lucinda is a witch AND a vampire?” “What is wrong with Mary? Phil is so cute!” It was even the subject of my obsession for years afterwards, mostly because I had taped it one subsequent Halloween. I even forced my college roommates to watch it – sadly, they were more impressed by the silly 80s commercials on my tape than the actual movie. Imagine my dismay when the tape finally gave out and busted. Of course, the tape was at least ten years old and had been watched hundreds of times – but I was seriously bummed. I think I had Transylvania 6-5000 and Earth Girls are Easy on that tape, too. Then comes the magic of DVD! Just last year, The Midnight Hour was released on DVD. Oh, I got it alright, it’s sitting there on my shelf, wedged between Meet the Feebles and Mortal Kombat.

Why in the world do I love this film so much? I couldn’t tell you. It’s cheesy and stupid. The plot is hopelessly romantic, yet tragic at the same time. There’s a crazy Thriller rip-off dance number. There are werewolves, vampires and rotted corpses everywhere. Wait, the more I describe it, the better it sounds…

Let me touch on the cast – TV all the way. The star is Lee Montgomery, the hottie from Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. His buddies include Shari Belafonte-Harper (last seen on Babylon 5), LeVar Burton (Reading Rainbow guy, Geordi LaForge, Kunta Kinte), Peter DeLuise (21 Jump Street!!!) and Dedee Pfeiffer (a bunch of crappy TV shows). Red Forman, as crotchety as ever, even makes an appearance as the Police Captain.

The soundtrack is just amazing. Actually, the soundtrack is what made think of doing a review. On the way home from work, I put in my new Guess Who CD and on comes ‘Clap for the Wolfman.’ How silly is it to write a song about a DJ? Not quite as silly as having that same DJ actually perform in your song. Anyway, that’s one of the cool songs in the movie, not to mention the fact that Wolfman Jack’s DJ-ness makes an appearance as well. Other songs include ‘Li’l Red Riding Hood,’ ‘Devil or Angel’, ‘Bad Moon Rising,’ ‘Mama Told Me Not to Come,’ ‘Baby, I’m Yours’ and of course, the eponymous ‘Midnight Hour.’ Oh, and I forgot – ‘How Soon is Now?’ during a particularly nasty vampire attack – for years, I would freak out every time I heard it.

Below, you’ll notice quite a long list of accomplishments by the director, Jack Bender. I swear that I have seen at least half of those TV movies. He has also directed quite a few TV shows, from Eight is Enough to Beverly Hills, 90210 to Alias. And let’s not forget Child’s Play 3! The man is clearly an auteur…

There’s not much else I can say about the film, except to check it out.