January 1, 2022
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It. Was. Perfect.
Okay, maybe not perfect…but perfect for me and what I wanted to see. No Way Home on Xmas Day was my first time back in the theater since the pandemic began. Literally, the last film we went and saw in the theater was…checks notes…Spider-Man: Far from Home. We’ve been taking advantage of streaming new releases and let me tell you, after paying $58 for 4 tickets, $18 for drinks, and dealing with every single damn person in the row having to get up to piss except for my husband and I. Someone was also farting up a storm…but I suspect that the phantom farter might have come from my own household…
This film had me screaming at the screen – it was truly a film made for the fans and made for the internet. Without getting too spoiler-y, they brought in every meme, every cliched line, every internet rumor – it was beautiful. The moment I heard, “I’m something of a scientist myself,” again, I shrieked and poked my husband in the side…to which he just scowled. There were more moments, but again – spoiler-y.
Over the past few days, we’ve re-watched Spider-Man 1, 2 & 3, which really helped me appreciate the DETAIL the writers went to to tie these multiverses together. That’s not a spoiler any more, right? (I haven’t seen the Garfield Spider-Man films yet, and they aren’t streaming right now, so my daughtered ordered used copies from Amazon.) Surely, this isn’t the end of the Tom Holland Spider-verse – I want MORE.
On a side note, what the fuck is going on with movie trailers these days? Each of the four trailers in front of No Way Home gave us a peak at an action movie with a classic rock song remixed and slowed down to DEATH. We got Lightyear + Starman (looks cute, plus America’s ass), Moonfall + Bad Moon Rising (wasn’t this just a twitter joke?), Uncharted + Ramble On (This one might be good), and Morbius + People are Strange (I wonder if this is based on Jared Leto’s life?). Fitting into this trend is the recent Matrix Resurrections trailer + White Rabbit, but at least that makes sense. Is this an effort to drag Boomers into theaters or just the artistic choices of the Gen Xers running things? Either way, it’s boring.
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 148 minutes
Genre – MCU
Director(s) – Jon Watts
Writer(s) – Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers
Actor(s) – Tom Holland, Zendaya, Benedict Cumberbatch, Jacob Batalon, Jon Favreau
BOB Rating – Four BOBs
Favorite Quote – "You know, I'm something of a scientist myself." - Norman Osborne (Willem Dafoe)