Maybe my expectations were too high.

The first film was decent. For a while, my daughter had it on repeat. Cute boys, I get it. It was tolerable to watch multiple times a week. I would rather shove knitting needles in my eye sockets than watch this second film again. I’d be SUPER pissed if I paid to see it. Good thing it landed on MAX within a month or so.

I should’ve known though…any film that veers into Greek Mythology is just gonna piss me off. Screenwriters pluck out details without any real rhyme or reason. Why did this film feature the Hesperides…but cast them physically as the Three Fates (a young maiden, a woman, and a crone – not that I would EVER refer to Dame Helen Mirren as a crone!) I realize that Greek Gods pop up in both Marvel (Zeus in Thor: Love and Thunder) and DC (Ares in Wonder Woman), but why the FUCK did they pull King Solomon and the Bible into it? I am so confused…I don’t think I liked anything about this whole film.

I take it back…there IS one scene that I liked. “Taste the rainbow, motherfu-!” I literally guffawed.

And that ending…whoa, that was one of the worst endings to a comic book movie I’ve ever seen. It’s like the whole DC Universe is suffering from Stephen King Syndrome. Great characters, great conflict, then…how the fuck do we end this thing?

At least it wasn’t as bad as Wonder Woman 1984…and that ending ALSO would’ve been better without Wonder Woman.


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