It Chapter Two

 

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Bill Hader is a National Treasure. His portrayal of the grown Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier was the glue that held this film together.

Not to say that it was falling apart by any means, but the second half of the film was missing the the taut tension of the first. By the time it came time for the group to hunt Pennywise, I wanted them to just get it fucking over with already.

Overall, the casting was very, VERY good. Not only were excellent actors selected, but the actors chosen were physically and tonally similar to their young counterparts. The only one that I had a bit of disconnect with was Ben Hanscom, but that might just be because I loved John Ritter’s portrayal so much.

People LOVE to bitch about how the movies don’t measure up to the book – I’ve been guilty as well. I’m not even mad about the pluses and minuses to the story for the film adaptation, except for a single detail – Ben’s story. I loved the tiny revenges in his story and was looking forward to hearing it. I also loved the callbacks to the TV version, including my all-time favorite line, “Kiss me, fat boy.”

Speaking of details from the book, I was shocked that the film started off with the story of Adrian Mellon. Adrian’s brutal assault is more gut wrenching and hard to watch than any of Pennywise’s attacks. Wait, except for Spider-Stan – I did NOT enjoy that fucking creepfest AT ALL.

Throughout the film, one of the running gags was giving Bill Denbrough shit about not being able to write a decent ending, also a common criticism of Stephen King (I tend to agree, although it gives me a chuckle to remember how he circumvented this criticism in the Dark Tower series.) I was fully prepared for the digs to be a set-up for changing the ending here…and I wasn’t disappointed. As convoluted as the book ending was, and as ridiculous as the TV version ending was, it wasn’t hard to improve upon. I feel like the screenwriters got it right here, and gave a more philosophical and proper end to the film.

Like the first film, we also bought this one on DVD – it’s worth owning. I’m also looking forward to checking out the special features and behind-the-scenes stuff.

It (2017)

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My procrastination in watching the new It was twofold. First off, It is my favorite Stephen King book and Tim Curry’s Pennywise holds a special place in my heart as the scariest movie villain EVER. If I am scrolling through the guide and I see the mini-series, I’m dropping whatever I’m doing and watching it. So even though reviews were phenomenal, I was hesitating. I just didn’t want to be disappointed – which is why I’m avoiding The Dark Tower as well.

My second driver was my kids. My son is currently reading the book – or trying to. He is having a really hard time getting into it. I finally gave up the wait and we had a family movie night. (If you’re wondering if the 10 year old daughter was a factor – she wasn’t. NOTHING scares her.)

I needn’t have worried – the remake was enthralling. Bill Skarsgård fully reimagined Pennywise – his deranged portrayal will be the gold standard for horror villains of the 10s (that was awkward as fuck to type). There is room in my hard, little, blackened heart to love both the new Pennywise and Tim Curry’s portrayal…WHO, as a matter of fact, will be coming to Frightmare in 2019. Tickets already bought!

I fully support fast-forwarding the plot to the 80s. I also get why they moved around some of the plot points – making Ben the Historian, making Eddie a little less of a pussy, etc. The masterful turn though, was turning the kids into amateur detectives. Looking for Georgie gave them more of a motive to fight Pennywise – well done. I also support the things they left out – although, I was hoping to see the notorious gang bang scene rewritten as just kissing, which it sorta was? I also think the BJ scene would’ve worked, but I get why it wasn’t included.

By the way, I don’t watch Stranger Things, so I have no comparisons for you. (I used to have Netflix , but since moving out to BFE, my sad little 1.5mbps internet connection cannot handle the joy of Netflix.)

Now that casting has been announced and filming has started on the next chapter, I am DYING to see it. James McAvoy. Jessica Chastain. Bill Hader. Chapter Two is gonna be LIT.

Jeepers Creepers II

Apparently, The Creeper was unimpressed with the interview I did for the last movie – I was unable to schedule him for another one…

Upon the video store owner’s recommendation, we picked up Jeepers Creepers 2 last weekend. He said it was “better than the first one.” That not only suggested that he had seen it, but that he had seen the first one as well. So we decided to get it, especially since the owner’s other recommendation was Secondhand Lions. Blegh.

Actually, it was better than the first film. As per the rule of sequels – more action, more CGI, more explosions – this is without a doubt a sequel. It takes place a few days after the first film. The Creeper is still hungry…so he attacks a school bus full of racially divided Basketball players. Let me tell you – I’ve never been so happy to see someone in a horror film get killed as I was when that one little racist fuck got carried off to Creeper-Land.

There is one thing that I did not like about the film. The Creeper seemed much more human in the first film. He drove a truck, had a house – maybe he was trying to blend in, keep a low profile? In this one, he’s flying around everywhere – plus, we never even got to see him eat any of his victims. THAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE FIRST FUCKING FILM!

I couldn’t help it – I kept thinking to myself throughout the whole film, “Get him Leland! Get him good!” Some actors are just doomed to be forever known as their Twin Peaks character, I guess. And yes, everytime I see David Duchnovy, I imagine him in a dress.

Not a bad film, not a great one – but hey, it’s not a remake and it’s not humorously reflective of the genre (a trend that is getting boring as shit these days) – so I’d definitely recommend it too.

 

Jeepers Creepers

Instead of our regularly scheduled review, I’m presenting an exclusive interview with The Creeper himself!

Knobbygirl: “‘Jeepers, creepers, where’d you get those peepers?’ I’ll bet you get that a lot…where’d you get that nickname?”

Creeper: “Actually, funny story…you see, I can only eat every 23 years. You know, kind of like that book “It” by Stephen King. Wait, that was every 27 years…anyway, so I can only eat every 23 years – what a bummer, right?”

K: “Right…”

C: “Right, well…I get damn hungry! You can understand that, right? So I’m just minding my own business and these two kids show up at my house, see? They break in and get into my ‘House of Pain,’ er, pantry and start taking my food out of the package and messing with it! This gets me fuckin’ right pissed, you know?”

K: “Oh yeah, I used to have this roommate…”

C: “Exactly! That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Anyway, they leave, shit, I am pissed as hell… I’m hungry as fuck, so I head on down to this little diner. Wouldn’t you know it, those two assholes are at the diner!”

K: “No way!”

C: “Seriously! So, I go check out their shitty ass car and of course, dumbasses that they are, it’s unlocked! So I decide to take a looksey – I mean, it’s only fair, they broke into my house, didn’t they? So all they have is a bunch of deliciously soiled, uh, I – their car is full of fucking dirty laundry! They don’t have shit worth stealing, not that I’d ever steal anything, mind you.”

K: “No, of course not…”

C: “So I leave, and I’m on my way home – my fuckin’ house is on fire! What the fuck, it MUST have been those two asshole kids! I turn right back around and there they are, coming right for me on the highway. With a police escort, no less. So I jump on that fuckin’ police car and tear the roof right off. I reach in a grab a pig and chop his head clean off. Funny as hell when it bounced off those kids’ hood. You should’ve seen the look on their faces…”

K: “Uhhhhhhhh…”

C: “Well, they screeched to a stop, so I figured…I had an audience, why the hell not? I picked up the cop’s head and started making out with it…you know how boring it is kissing a decapitated head? It’s like kissing…”

K: “Okay, well, I’ve got to be going…I have another interview in 10 minutes…It’s with the Leprechaun, I’d hate to keep him waiting…”

C: “Wait, I’m almost finished…”

K: “No, I’ve really got….”

Knobbygirl runs the fuck out of there – FAST.

C: “Wait a second…you smell so GOOOOOOD…”