Waiting…

I can’t remember the last time I saw my husband laugh so much at a movie. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him laugh that hard at a movie that wasn’t one of those Blue Collar Comedy Tour movies.

I had always wondered why my husband didn’t find Office Space very amusing. I understand that all the office scenes were a world away from him, but he didn’t find the restaurant scenes funny either – and he worked at Friday’s for 6 years. He fucking despised flair, hated the crap on the wall, hated their stupid fruity drinks. But after watching Waiting… I figured out why it didn’t strike a chord with him. The restaurant scenes in Office Space, while funny, were written from the outside looking in. They showed all the horrible things about working in that environment from the point of view of a guest – not the point of view a person working there. Waiting… depicts the exact opposite. This movie had to have been written by someone who has done the time and worked in shitty chain restaurant after shitty chain restaurant.

I was curious as to whether my husband has ever come across the Penis Showing Game at any of the places he’s worked. The answer was no, but I was surprised that they did play another game. Not sure what to call it, but it consists of popping another waiter in the nuts whenever possible. I didn’t think it was possible to find a game GAYER than the Penis Showing Game, but there you go. (I’m guessing that it’s okay to say it’s GAYER, since it actually consists of men touching one another’s genitals.)

This film hit so close to home, we were able to mentally assign each one of the characters to people we knew from his bartending days. His old roommate was definitely Ryan Reynolds, without the smoking hot body. He would fuck anything that moved and the younger, the better. I’d have to say that my best friend was a lot like Anna Faris’ character, with a touch of the chain-smoking angry chick. I don’t want to get into too many more specifics – I don’t want to get sued for libel. I will say that my husband was able to relate to the Mac Guy’s character. In case you’re wondering, my husband got out too.

Even though I’ve never waited tables in my life, this is a damn funny film. If you take one thing away from Waiting… it should be to always remember – don’t fuck with people who serve your food.

Office Killer

My office needs one of these.

All kidding aside, every office has at least one. One person that is undeniably, certifiably insane. Batshit, Nutso, Loco, the elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor. We’ve got a guy who hears voices, one of which is Jesus. We even have a guy who refers to himself in third person and that we think may show up with a gun and mow everyone down one day…but we don’t have anyone like Dorine Douglas.

Dorine Douglas seemed like a mousy little nobody…until the day she accidentally electrocutes a sleazy writer at her magazine. As lonely as she is, she decides to take the writer home with her so that she’ll have have someone to watch TV with. The next day, she’s still lonely, so manages to off her boss by exchanging her asthma inhaler with a butane cartridge. “The more, the merrier” in Dorine’s basement, as the bodies pile up and her cats get new toys to play with.

I’ve always liked Carol Kane…probably ever since the original version of When a Stranger Calls. She’s such a fucking nut – she’s made for indie films, especially horror. Carol Kane was born to play Dorine, with her high, tremulous voice and fuzzy, frumpy features. And what the fuck was up with her eyebrows? I swear, they were drawn on differently in every single scene. I’m going to have to assume that it was a stylistic choice to show how unhinged Dorine is? (I do NOT have an eyebrow obsession.)

I’m not sure how I feel about Jeanne Tripplehorn. She always picks these Blandy McBlanderson type roles. Plus, her hair really bugged me. That floppy Prince Valiant cut was not flattering at all. I didn’t buy her and Michael Imperioli as a couple either. They had no chemistry at all – but maybe that was intentional? Office romances aren’t know for their fire – they’re often relationships of convenience.

Molly Ringwald was excellent as the office bitch. She’s like an extension of Claire from The Breakfast Club, only a decade later. She’s the only one who’s on to crazy Dorine, yet no one believes her because she is such a fucking bitch. She’s lucky to get fired before Dorine can finish her off.

According to imdb, Ben Affleck had some deleted scenes. I wonder if he got killed too? One can only hope…and pray that these scenes some day get added to a special edition DVD.

The director, Cindy Sherman, is a famed photographic artist and it shows. Each scene is as meticulously composed as a single frame. Dramatic lighting adds to the tension. I’m wondering if the office scenes were lit by fluorescent lights, as the sickly yellow glow was reminiscent of all offices everywhere.

As I was watching the scene in the basement unfold, the movie May came to mind. Dorine was creating the work life she desired, whereas May was creating the lover she desired. Office Killer also reminded me a little bit of Killer Nerd. The biggest difference is that Killer Nerd was all about revenge – Dorine is not so much into revenge on an individual level. Although she definitely does kill those who have wronged her, she also kills girls scouts. GIRL SCOUTS! Their cookies are delicious – but are they worth killing for?