Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

Several months ago, I caught Lily watching this movie. I snatched the remote QUICK. I’d forgotten about it until I was chillin’ with my friend Rachel. She lured me in with the promise of a glorious merkin…and y’all know how I feel about merkins. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Jan 29, 2018 at […]

Cell

I feel like the world needs a John Cusack/Samuel L. Jackson buddy/road trip movie right now. Now, more than ever, we need the joy that those two can bring us. (“I want these motherfucking snakes out of my motherfucking earnest romantic comedy!” or something to that effect?) A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Jan […]

Hannibal Rising

The only thing more gag inducing than sitting down to watch a movie that you know includes cannibalism is seeing ‘The Weinstein Company’ as the first slide in the opening credits. That being said, Hannibal Rising is somewhat of a boring slog, although I don’t know if I would be felt the same way if […]

Divergent

So, “Teen Dystopia” is its own genre now? Back when I was a teen, I was quite sure that “the man” was out to get me…by stamping out all free thought, individuality and creativity. Turns out, it was just my mom. I kid, I kid – she likely wasn’t any worse than any other mother […]

The Wizard of Oz (3D)

Never before have I written a second review of a film. Not so much out of pride or any kind of belief that my reviews exist as the “final word” on the worth of a film…it’s more because I’m kind of lazy. (Or quite possibly…really fucking lazy.) The 3D re-release of The Wizard of Oz […]

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I’m torn by this movie. Don’t get me wrong, I liked it…but I don’t know that it absolutely HAD to be made. Let me be clear, I don’t remember much shit from reading The Hobbit. I remember Gollum and I remember big fucking spiders. I do remember that half the dwarves die, so I am […]

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

The hobit was a 5 star production. It was a kind of scary movie. But I loved it. I think you should go see it. Now don’t get me wrong but the hobit is 60 years before Lord of the Rings. There are 3 wizards and their names are Sayramon, Gandalf and Rajagast. There are […]

Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax

I didn’t think that there could be a worse adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book than Horton Hears a Who! Oh, I was so wrong… I don’t remember if I was in kindergarten or first grade, but I remember sitting in the music room, watching the original 70s version of The Lorax. All I remember […]

The Midnight Meat Train

I DVRed this film based on the title alone. I figured that since it wasn’t on Skinemax – it wasn’t soft core porn, but since it was on SyFy, I was risking missing some gore. I shouldn’t have worried…there was a considerable amount of gore left in the film. The Midnight Meat Train is the […]

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Oh, Tim Burton, you’re like a tampon…when you do your job well, I love you…but when you fuck up, I hate you and I swear I’ll never trust you again…. Visually stunning as Alice in Wonderland was, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was watching twenty pounds of shit in a ten pound bag. […]