Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

 

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Chamber of Secrets? That’s what I used to call my vajayjay back in college…

Thank you folks, I’ll be here all night. My children absolutely appreciate any and all mentions of their former abode and entry into the world, so let’s give them a round of applause for pushing me to revisit Harry Potter and to make inappropriate vagina jokes. My son voraciously consumed Harry Potter books the second he could read. My daughter was slower to get hooked and in fact, only promised to read them if I read them. Challenge accepted!

I saw Sorcerer’s Stone shortly after it was released, but never sat down and intentionally watched the rest of the films. I am fairly certain I’ve seen them all in bits and pieces over the years though. Having just finished reading the second book, my daughter and I had a Friday Night double feature of the first two films…

My favorite part is when I say Her-Mee-Oh-Nee instead of Her-My-Oh-Nee – my daughter has an absolute shit fit about me not saying it right.

Dobby is so fucking annoying. He reminds me of our dog, always cowering and whimpering. I wonder if I give her a sock, she’ll fucking leave?

While watching the film, I told my daughter that Gilderoy Lockhart is a butthole. She said, “No, he’s another B-word, but I can’t say it.” “A bitch?” “Yeah. Can I say that?” “Uh, no.” At what age is appropriate to let a child call someone a “little bitch”?

So, I didn’t know that a Basilisk was a snake – I thought they were lizards. The only thing I know about Basilisks was from playing Magic in college, and they looked like big fucking iguanas. Wikipedia was not very helpful, as they also have chicken legs and a cock’s comb. The fuck?

A fun film, but I feel like it was really long. My daughter fell asleep halfway through, but I made it through both. Onward to the next one!