Club Dread

If it weren’t for Super Troopers – then I wouldn’t be forced to start every single paragraph of this review with “If it weren’t for Super Troopers…”

If it weren’t for Super Troopers – Club Dread might have had a chance to actually stand on its own as a funny film. It certainly had funny moments – even a few hilarious ones…but it just didn’t live up to the high standards of Super Troopers. Maybe the strict precept of parodying horror movies got in the way of the aimless pitstops that made Super Troopers so fucking amazing? Or maybe it was just the fact that I wasn’t high…the world may never know.

If it weren’t for Super Troopers – maybe I would have believed that Lars was some kind of Orgasmic Wonder Masseuse – but I just couldn’t stop seeing him as Farva. Farva cannot give *anyone* an orgasm with the touch of his finger, much less a hot Aerobics Instructor. I guess that’s the problem I had with all the characters – I couldn’t put aside their Super Troopers characters long enough to give them a chance to become their new Club Dread characters. I suppose “Juan the Goat Fucker” came the closest, but the rest of the characters weren’t as well characterized. And Putman was just downright STUPID. That accent drove me crazy – I wish he would have gotten killed off a lot sooner.

If it weren’t for Super Troopers – I wouldn’t be quite so disappointed in the soundtrack to Club Dread. (I have been unable to find a copy of the Super Troopers soundtrack to listen to, but since it’s mostly Southern Culture on the Skids, it’s got to kick ass.) Island music is fine and all – but I just want the Coconut Pete Songs. The Coconut Pete songs were hands down the best part of the film – especially Pina Coladaburg, written a full seven years before Margaritaville!

If it weren’t for Super Troopers – I probably wouldn’t even CONSIDER going to see the new Dukes of Hazzard movie…but it’s gonna be directed by Jay Chandrasekhar – so there’s a good chance it will be funny. I’m definitely not going to let the mediocrity of Club Dread drive me away from his other films…I’ll give him a few more chances…


Super Troopers

I left some blood in my seat after this one!

Okay, that probably sounded pretty gross. What I meant to say, was that the film was so funny that I peed blood…um, that was worse. Forget about it.

I bought this DVD several months ago, along with Kung Pow, which I still haven’t had a chance to watch. Erin has been bugging me to watch it, so since she was in town for New Years, we finally got a chance to sit down and watch it last night. I can’t believe I had been depriving myself of the simple joy of Super Troopers for so long!

Keep in mind, that right about now, I am feeling fairly bitter towards State Troopers of any kind. Christmas Day, I managed to encounter one of my state’s finest and get a $140 “gift.” (96 in a 70 – I can’t even take fucking defensive driving, which is just as well, since I got stalked by Dr. Evil the last time I took one.) Even so, I forgot all about my fucking ticket for 103 minutes and was lost in the exploits of the Super Troopers.

High speed chases, pranks and syrup abuse are the norm for the Super Troopers. They may appropriate a little ‘evidence’ now and then, but they aren’t bad guys. They fuck with the people they pull over, not out of spite, but out of sheer boredom. They’re definitely fuck-ups, but not in a Mighty Ducks/Bad News Bears sort of way….they’re more like the guys in Office Space – fucking up intentionally.

I wonder how Daniel von Bargen (Asshole Local Cop Grady) feels about his utter and total typecasting. From what I can tell, the only non-military/cop role he has had recently was as the slimy resurrected cult leader in Lord of Illusions. He is definitely ‘Commandant Spangler’ whenever I think about him.

Super Troopers will end up being one of the definitive stoner comedies of the new millenium. Move over Friday and Half-Baked, the Super Troopers are here.