We watch shitty movies, so you don't have to…
I felt dirty just watching this. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Mar 16, 2018 at 9:10pm PDT Lifetime is already known for shitty, exploitive “biopics”, like the ones they did on Saved by the Bell and Full House. This one goes one step further into the abyss, by skipping past petty grievances and […]
Unless they were swinging their trouser snakes around, this movie was utterly boring. Actually, the trouser snake slinging wasn’t all that exciting either. I guess we’re old ladies now, but there used to be a time when trouser snake slinging was exciting. Back when we were 18, our moms took my BFF and I to […]
Based on a True Story…I LOVE “Based on a True Story.” I love bullshit and nothing is more bullshit than “Based on a True Story.” (Technically, the film opened with “this story is inspired by true events” – but that’s pretty much the same thing.) Being a local, I’m more than a little familiar with […]
Needed more sodomy. I don’t consider myself to be a connoisseur of sodomy…I’m a dabbler, really. An amateur sodomite, if you will. I can appreciate the finer points of buggery, but really I know just enough to be dangerous. That being said, there was a dissapointing lack of hot action in Behind the Candelabra. After […]
Every once in a while, I’ll see a film that I think my mom would’ve liked. Our taste in films didn’t always intersect – in fact, they hardly ever intersected. (She did make me watch The Last Picture Show, which I still love. I guess I pretty much forced Pink Flamingos on her.) While I’ve […]
Another Russ Meyer film, another band gets its name. I have no fucking clue why the film is called ‘Mudhoney’ or what mudhoney even is. Maybe it is a play on the phrase ‘land of milk and honey’ or maybe it has something to do with products made by unsanitary bees? The film is set […]
Fucking horrifying. From beginning to end, Fast Food Nation shows different facets of the fast food industry, each more fucking horrifying than the last. From the boardrooms in which the food is invented, to the slaughterhouses filled with illegal aliens, to the actual restaurants filled with apathetic high school students – all scenes intended to […]
I don’t trust those people at Cannes, not one little bit. How did this get the Palme d’Or? I can understand the Best Director award – the direction of the film was masterful, with the kids in concentric circles of activity around the high school. But the top award of the whole festival? How did […]
I saw this movie almost two weeks ago and it is still stuck in my head. The Business of Strangers is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long, long time. It’s the story of a bizarre night shared by a corporate executive and her assistant. They start out as complete strangers, rhythmically […]
I hate wine. Although I have been known to quaff Strawberry Hill and other Boone’s Farm delicacies – not to mention the occasional “box-o-wine” – I (and most drinkers outside of the hardcore, homeless winos) hardly categorize those things as real wine. Real wine is seriously gross. Red wines, by far, are the grossest, although […]