August 10, 2013

Needed more sodomy.

I don’t consider myself to be a connoisseur of sodomy…I’m a dabbler, really. An amateur sodomite, if you will. I can appreciate the finer points of buggery, but really I know just enough to be dangerous. That being said, there was a dissapointing lack of hot action in Behind the Candelabra. After reading quote after quote from Matt Damon and Michael Douglas about how “difficult” their “love scenes” were, I’ve gotta call BULLSHIT. (I wonder if THIS went through Michael Douglas’ head during the filming?) Yes, there was some kissing and some vague tussling under the sheets, but it’s not hardcore Brokeback action. It was downright boring.

Instead of sodomy, I would have accepted an equal measure of camp, but camp was sorely missing as well. Sure, there were a few campy moments, like any of the hilarious Plastic Surgeon Rob Lowe scenes. But for the most part, Soderbergh totally played it straight. I was expecting a ridiculous spectacle like Liz & Dick, but the spectacle was limited to what we already know Liberace was like. The acting and writing were good, so really, I’m complaining that this movie wasn’t shitty enough for me to enjoy it. Maybe the book is juicier?

At least we got to see Matt Damon in a bedazzled banana hammock.


Year – 2013
Rating – TV-MA
Runtime – 118 minutes
Genre – Biopic
Director(s) – Steven Soderbergh
Writer(s) – Richard LaGravenese, Scott Thorson, Alex Thorleifson
Actor(s) – Matt Damon, Scott Bakula, Michael Douglas, Debbie Reynolds, Dan Aykroyd
BOB Rating – Two BOBs
Favorite Quote – "All of a sudden we're sounding like a gay Lucy and Ricky. "Oh, Ricky, you wouldn't fuck me up the ass if you loved me!"" - Liberace (Michael Douglas)