Clay Pigeons

March 13, 1999

I have never seen someone more shit upon in a film than Clay Birdwell (Joaquin Phoenix). His best friend frames him for his own suicide for screwing his wife. The wife then refuses to back him up on it, even though she knows the truth. He then has to make it look like an accident. Then that bitch wants him back. He spurns her, but she shoots his new girl while they are screwing – and he has to get rid of that body too. Then he makes friends with Lester the Molester (Vince Vaughn), a psycho killing truck driver that needs a patsy…

The best part of the film was Janeane Garofolo. She isn’t the first person I would think of when casting an FBI agent, but somehow it works quite well. She is not the Dale Cooper type of agent, but more serious than in anything else she has been in. Who hasn’t gotten stoned and watched Alien?

By the way, did I mention that cowboy hats are sexy? Did I mention that cowboy hats during sex are even sexier? Add Vince Vaughn to the list of sexy cowboy hat-wearing fornicators. I guess this fetish started with The Doom Generation. I want a pink felt cowboy hat! End of my cowboy rant – back to the review!

River’s little brother has made quite a career for himself lately – not too long ago, he was the porno watching little kid in Parenthood. He was also going by Leaf instead of Joaquin. He is capable of reaching a point of stardom that his brother fell just short of. Hopefully, he has his head on straighter than his brother’s.