October 23, 2004

How can you not love Ron Perlman? I don’t mean that in a creepy way, like the way all those 80s housewives loved him in Beauty and the Beast. I mean that in a completely bestiality free way, you know – the way I love Steve Buscemi. Because like Steve Buscemi, Perlman’s presence just makes every film better. Okay, maybe not *every* film, but certainly Sleepwalkers, Alien Resurrection and Blade II.

Hellboy is certainly at the top of the heap when it comes to the recent deluge of comic book movies. Definitely better than The Hulk and The League of Extraordinary Shittiness, although not quite another Spider-Man or X-Men. I guess I’d rate it somewhere in between Blade and Blade II.

My only gripe is the insertion of Rasputin into the plot. I *know* that Rasputin was in the comic book – and I don’t care. I just get so irritated when historical figures are inserted into a movie – “Forrest Gump-ed,” if you will. The story would have worked just as well if ANY crazy fuck was the villain – so how does it help the plot to have the villain be the resurrected Rasputin?

Like most DVDs these days, there are a crapload of special features. I made through all the shit on disc one, but I crept off to bed while Russ was looking through disc two. Of all the special features, the cartoons were a really good addition. I’d never heard of Gerald McBoingBoing and the Boris Karloff narrated version of The Telltale Heart was one of the fucking creepiest cartoons I’d ever seen. I bet it gave my fetus nightmares…

So I guess I should have waited a week or so to rent this, since the Director’s Cut was just released this week…I’m sure that one of my fan boi friends will be more than happy to let me borrow it…I got that feeling that there was a lot cut from the film. Some scenes seemed disjointed and choppy and the ending was quite abrupt. Here’s to hoping that it’s all resolved in the Director’s Cut.


Year – 2004
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 122 minutes
Genre – Comic Adaptation
Director(s) – Guillermo del Toro
Writer(s) – Mike Mignola, Guillermo del Toro
Actor(s) – Ron Perlman, John Hurt, Selma Blair, Jeffrey Tambor, Karel Roden
BOB Rating – Three BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Mmmm... nachos!" - Hellboy (Ron Perlman)