Clash of the Titans (2010)

I was nervous as the film started to play…am I about to see a gritty, exciting update to one of my favorite childhood films? Or is my childhood about to be shit all over? Ultimately, the answer wasn’t clear. There were things I loved AND things I hated about the remake. What did I LOVE […]

The Golden Compass

You’d think I would be standing in line to see a movie that supposedly promotes atheism in children and is condemned by the Catholic Church. The problem with the Golden Compass is that it tries so hard to not piss anyone off and be a family film that it totally misses the point of the […]

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

Sick of watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I finally introduced my son to the psychedelic 70s version starring Gene Wilder and a bunch of green and orange midgets. Needless to say, he was less than impressed. He actually paid attention during the beginning of the film, which to me is the most boring part. […]

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

I never saw Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory as a child. I was a 19 year old college student – and it definitely fucked with my head. (There’s a time and place for everything, children. It’s called college.) Consequently, I’m missing all those warm and fuzzy feelings that made so many die hard fans […]

Star Wars: Episode III – The Revenge of the Sith

How does George Lucas expect me to watch this movie with a straight face, when he includes lines like, “Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo.”? Seriously, I was almost rolling around on the theater floor laughing after that horrid, horrid line. Who talks like that? Did his involvement with Howard the […]

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

I can’t believe that it’s finally over. Long. So long. Three hours and 21 minutes long. That’s 201 minutes. L-O-N-G. I wonder how long the extended edition will be? Even so, I did manage to make it all the way through without having to take a potty break, as did my mother-in-law, which impressed me […]

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

I can’t do it. I can’t decide which one I like better, this one or the first one. I guess I’ll save my final decision until the last one comes out this Christmas. So it’s February and we just got around to watching The Two Towers this past weekend – and from the comfort of […]

Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone

The quote above has already come true – there isn’t a child alive who hasn’t heard of Harry Potter. Really, it’s no wonder that that children have fallen in love with Harry Potter. Harry Potter’s rise to fame and fortune is every child’s fantasy. It couldn’t have been written better by a child psychologist. Every […]

Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

Light Sabre wielding Yoda kicks ass! I doubt I am ruining anything about the film by proclaiming the kickass-ness of Yoda’s fight scene. Is it possible that there is anyone left on the planet that has not seen Episode II yet? I saw it a few weeks ago – I didn’t quite make it on […]

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

As my best friend said, this movie should have been called “The League of Extraordinary Shittiness.” Before you get your panties in a wad – no, I haven’t read the graphic novel, so that’s not why it sucks. It sucks because…it just sucks. There’s no plot to speak of – the best I could come […]