The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

February 11, 2003

I can’t do it. I can’t decide which one I like better, this one or the first one. I guess I’ll save my final decision until the last one comes out this Christmas.

So it’s February and we just got around to watching The Two Towers this past weekend – and from the comfort of my own couch, no less. I shall not reveal how I came upon my precious, er, I mean the DVD – I have my ways. But rest assured that I did not illegally download it and it did not have chinese subtitles. I tell you though, it was nice to pause it and piss, instead of missing any of the action!

It was definitely the middle of a long story. Jackson did a nice job of picking up the action with the Balrog nightmare – but without watching the first one, don’t expect to understand what the hell is going on.

I’d have to say that the CGI was much more impressive in this one. Jackson reportedly redid some of the effects at the last minute, but nothing feels rushed or last minute about it. I think back to the dreadful CGI Scorpion King in The Mummy Returns – it was only a few short years ago, but my, what progress the industry has made. As the Oscar nominations were announced this morning, I truly understand why it was a travesty that The Gollum was not nominated for best supporting actor. He had more emotion in his little nub than Richard Gere could hope for in a lifetime of his pitiful, gerbil-stuffing experience! I caught a hint of JAR JAR in The Gollum’s creepy whining and allaround toadiness, but not enough to piss me off.

After seeing the first one, I was disappointed in Aragorn’s love for Arwen. What the hell could he possibly see in her? Then, in this one, the fucking bitch just ups and crosses over . What kind of love is that? Of course, I am sure it was all a ruse, that she’ll be right back in the middle of the action in the next one. And besides, she’s way better than Eowyn. What a nutjob. She acts like she’s about the hump her dead cousin’s corpse! I swear, it looked just like a scene out of Kissed!

Anyway, I nearly bought a huge all-in-one edition of The Lord of the Rings today at Wal-Mart. Seriously, I actually picked it up, then put it right back down. I cannot yet commit to losing myself in Middle Earth. Maybe after the third one…


Year – 2002
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 179 minutes
Genre – Fantasy, Book Adaptation
Director(s) – Peter Jackson
Writer(s) – J.R.R. Tolkien, Fran Walsh
Actor(s) – Elijah Wood, Ian McKellan, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortenson, Christopher Lee
BOB Rating – Four BOBs
Favorite Quote – "I cannot jump the distance. You'll have to toss me....Don't tell the elf!" - Gimli (John Rhys-Davies)