The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years

Before there was Celebrity Rehab, there was The Decline of Western Civilization II: The Metal Years. If the last decade of knobbygirl-ness proves nothing else, it proves that I’ve got an overdeveloped sense of schadenfreude. I fucking love watching people embarrass themselves – especially celebrities. It’s even better when they’re getting paid for it. VH1 […]

Green Porno

“Why would she do something like that?” That’s what my husband asked me after I forced him to watch Green Porno. My response was “Why wouldn’t she?” If someone asked me to dress up in spandex, wear a bug mask and hump a cardboard cut-out of a bumblebee, I would be all like, “Where do […]

Combover: The Movie

I am now a woman obsessed. Everywhere I look, I now notice the combovers. I can’t stop staring. Even my little baby is sporting a combover! Combover: The Movie is a documentary capturing the filmmaker’s quest for “extreme combovers.” He literally stands around on busy streets, holding a sign that says “Extreme Combovers Wanted.” As […]

Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey

I never knew that Metal could be so scary. Seriously, those Norwegians scare the bejesus out of me. Burning down churches and making jewelry out of pieces of their bandmate’s skull. What the hell is wrong with those people? Did their mommies not hug them enough? Although Norwegian Black Metal certainly deserves the reputation it’s […]

Midnight Movies: From the Margin to the Mainstream

Why are there no more Midnight Movies? Okay, technically, I know it’s pretty darn easy to find a movie playing at midnight. Practically all theaters now offer midnight showings of mainstream movies. But what happened to those fucked up movies that could only be shown at midnight? Movies that make no sense in the daylight […]

Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills

Morbid, terrifying, WRONG. This is the first documentary that I have ever reviewed – and I review it not from an entertainment standpoint, because this will not entertain you. It will scare you that there can be such evil inside a human being to do what was done to these children, and I don’t just […]