The Mummy (2017)

A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Jul 1, 2018 at 4:55pm PDT I’ve never tried so hard to NOT watch a movie. I played games on my phone, ate cinnamon toast, took a dump…yet I still ended up watching too much of this abysmal film. They thought they were starting a Universal Monsters extended […]

Attack of the Killer Donuts

Sometimes, my husband leaves me presents on the DVR…presents like Attack of the Killer Donuts. He’s a romantic at heart… A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on May 2, 2018 at 5:32pm PDT The title kind of gives away the plot – there are donuts and they kill people. It’s absolutely as much fun as […]

Friday the 13th

There’s nothing like introducing your children to a cinema classic…yes, this Friday the 13th, I’ve started the kids on Friday the 13th… A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Apr 13, 2018 at 4:59pm PDT I haven’t decided for sure, but there’s a slim chance that they might go to some kind of camp this […]

Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies

There has been nothing on my TV but the Winter Olympics for the last 2 weeks…so why not just go with it and watch a movie full of Snowboarders? I’m talking Mountain Dew, baby! A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Feb 20, 2018 at 4:37pm PST Obviously, I was drawn in by the title […]

Cooties

One bad chicken nugget, that’s all it takes. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Feb 6, 2018 at 8:40am PST More than a silly horror/comedy, I feel that Cooties functions as an allegory of those “only eats chicken nuggets” kids. I fucking hate those kids. No, scratch that – I hate the parents of […]

Cell

I feel like the world needs a John Cusack/Samuel L. Jackson buddy/road trip movie right now. Now, more than ever, we need the joy that those two can bring us. (“I want these motherfucking snakes out of my motherfucking earnest romantic comedy!” or something to that effect?) A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Jan […]

Cult of Chucky

Poor Andy. It’s really hard to get laid when your childhood was ruined by a killer doll. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Dec 8, 2017 at 6:35pm PST Kudos to Chucky (?) For bringing back the original Andy! There’s a bit of meta-power to bringing back the originals…although I would’ve loved a scene […]

Child’s Play 3

The kids just can’t get enough of Chucky! A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Nov 27, 2017 at 6:31pm PST After what I imagine is dozens of foster homes, poor Andy is now 16 and in military school. It’s rather disappointing that the film spends more time showing Andy being bullied by his commanding […]

Child’s Play 2

One kid wanted to go see Daddy’s Home 2 and the other one wanted to go see Thor: Ragnarok. Obviously, the only sensible compromise was to take them home and force them to watch Child’s Play 2. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Nov 20, 2017 at 5:47pm PST After the events of the […]

Hannibal Rising

The only thing more gag inducing than sitting down to watch a movie that you know includes cannibalism is seeing ‘The Weinstein Company’ as the first slide in the opening credits. That being said, Hannibal Rising is somewhat of a boring slog, although I don’t know if I would be felt the same way if […]