We watch shitty movies, so you don't have to…
Overheard somewhere in Hollywood… “Hey Eddie, it’s me, Johnny T…remember when you said I could borrow your fat black lady suit? Well, my career is in a total slump, so I figure I could…what? You’re letting Martin Lawrence use if for Big Momma’s House 3? Awww, fuck – looks like I’ll have to figure out […]
I’ve finally seen John Waters’ favorite movie. I can totally see why this film is his favorite – the cars, the sex, the violence – sure. But what about the big hair, bullet bras and lesbians? Three lesbian Go-Go Dancers (Are they called Go-Go Dancers because their patrons chant “Go, Go, Go!” at them?) run […]
Divine is no longer the filthiest person alive – that honor now belongs to Partyboy. I won’t ruin the surprise, but in a movie in which someone also eats cow shit, there are few things that could be grosser to ingest. Ironically, the ingestion of this substance is the one sequence in either Jackass movie […]
Why are there no more Midnight Movies? Okay, technically, I know it’s pretty darn easy to find a movie playing at midnight. Practically all theaters now offer midnight showings of mainstream movies. But what happened to those fucked up movies that could only be shown at midnight? Movies that make no sense in the daylight […]
As we were sitting in the dark, waiting for the previews to begin, I was put in the position of rationalizing why I felt it was necessary to go see Seed of Chucky on opening weekend. I tried to explain what a big deal it was – that it was like Lord of the Rings. […]
Yodeling in the canyon…heard that one before. Whistling in the dark…haven’t heard that one, but I could see it. [Is THAT what the TMBG song is about?] But sneezing in the cabbage? Where the fuck did that come from? There’s no shortage of euphemisms for cunnilingus in A Dirty Shame. Or any other sexual fetish, […]
This was the least offensive Woody Allen film that I’ve seen to date. Understand that I try to keep my Woody Allen viewing to a minimum – I’ve probably only seen a handful of his films. When I was little, I’m talking eleven and younger, I used to derive all kinds of entertainment from Allen’s […]
Sublime parody of Jailhouse Rock. Johnny Depp is Wade ‘Cry-Baby’ Walker, orphan without a cause. He falls in love with Allison, a good girl who wants to be bad. He fights for Allison and does it in song. When John Waters does a musical, he does it right. Even though all of the singing voices […]
Life is like a crab cake? Last night, I crept to the UA Cine all by myself to see John Water’s latest film. It was a week later than I would have liked to see it…but that’s another story entirely. I am glad that I was alone – I wouldn’t have wanted to explain what […]
Hmmm…I can’t decide if it sucked or I loved it… Reminds me of the dumb crap we made when we were in college, so maybe that means I liked it…and I thought Orpheus in Hollywood was hard to understand… What I did like was the idea of a story told aurally through an edited music […]