The Frighteners

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on

I love introducing the kids to my favorite horror films. I love introducing the kids to my favorite directors. The Frighteners is a horror film by one of my favorite directors – Peter Jackson. What’s not to love?

I’m fairly certain that I saw The Frighteners in the theater. Or maybe I didn’t? I’ve seen it so many times since then though, it’s kind of blurry. At the time though, the special effects were cutting edge. Unlike lots of 90s films, the effects still hold up. Bless you, Peter Jackson.

There’s so much to love about The Frighteners. Michael J. Fox in his last major film role. Jeffrey Combs being creepy as fuck. Jake Busey, also being creepy as fuck. John Astin, father of the future Hobbit. R. Lee Ermey as…R. Lee Ermey. My daughter was excited about Dee Wallace Stone, who is apparently starring in some Disney Chanbel Show she watches. Whatever happened to Trini Alvarado, AKA young Andi McDowell?

I also think that this film continued my obsession with ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper.’ For sure, it started with the miniseries of The Stand, but then this film ended with it…and wasn’t it in Scream? And then ‘More Cowbell’ and then Six Feet Under…that song can do no wrong.

I love the contours of Peter Jackson’s career. From his start with Feebles, through the camp horror of Bad Taste and Dead Alive and then the ethereal beauty of Heavenly Creatures, Jackson makes a pit stop here in big budget horror before his forays into the Tolkien universe. I’m really intrigued by his newest project, a 3D documentary of WWI.

Grease 2

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on

I think my daughter hates me. I was watching Grease and Grease 2 came on afterwards and she made me watch it, too. Somehow, I had managed to avoid it for the last 42 years. It’s so, SO bad. I give her credit, though – about half way through, she begged to change the channel, but I wouldn’t let her. She must live with the consequences of her bad decisions.

So instead of muscle cars, the thing is motorcycles. And instead of Sandy, the Australian exchange student, we get her cousin Michael, the English exchange student. Good thing Frenchy, the Beauty School Dropout, is around to push the plot along by telling Michael exactly what he needs to do to win Stephanie’s heart. Barf. Strangely enough, she mysteriously disappears halfway through the movie.

Why does everyone except Michelle Pfeiffer look period appropriate? Her hair is just not right, and neither are her clothes. Honestly, I don’t even think that Michelle Pfeiffer is even in the same movie as everyone else.

So many songs – and they are so dumb! Weird as hell songs about bowling and sexual reproduction and going to the grocery store. What the actual fuck? and the Motorcycle Heaven scene – are they fucking kidding? There’s only one explanation – cocaine. Bales and bales of cocaine.

Why is the bad guy the same pitted-face dick from the first movie? So lazy. And why did I have to see so much of Adrian Zmed’s nipples? He just comes off as a dick the whole movie, especially when he is making out with Judy Garland’s daughter. Oh, and Christopher McDonald (he eats pieces of shit for breakfast)! And the Sagal twins – I was OBSESSED with that show Double Trouble!

I didn’t realize that Pamela Adlon is Pamela Segall – she was in one of my favorite movies as a kid – Something Special (AKA Milly/Willy). I need to track that down for my kids to watch.

I hope I never have to sit through this again.

Tromeo and Juliet

Someday, I will work for TROMA.

I have been trying to see this film for years, at least since I saw the preview for it in front of Redneck Zombies. Every time I tried to rent it, I was thwarted. Somebody stole it from the Video Update, then Video Update burned down. Then Rhett and I rented it from Starlight, but we never got around to watching it, we watched Jerry Springer “I Married a Horse” (yes, it is as bad as it sounds) and Bi-Claudius (rancid bisexual porn). Finally, Sean rented the DVD and we all went to his place…

You gotta love any film that has Lemmy as the narrator. Shakespeare himself would have approved, what with all the sex (lesbians, incest and gay priests, oh my!), drugs, amputations, penis monsters, car chases, piercings and the list goes on and on. Yes, I did say penis monster. I cannot explain it without sounding dumb, but trust me, penis monster is cool. We all laughed ourselves silly while we were watching it – and we were all stone cold sober! Imagine that!

For some reason, the sex scenes were all really hot. Troma always has plenty of T & A, but for once, the sex scenes were erotic and tastefully done (Well, I guess that’s a relative term. You can’t really put “tasteful” and “Troma” in a sentence together…) What I mean to say is, they really turned me on – especially the scene in the plexiglass box. It gave me interesting dreams the next night, to be sure. The lesbian scenes with Juliet and Ness, the chick with all that shit in her face, were also pretty neato. Just ask Sean…

I got the soundtrack as well. It is sweet, lots of punk and aggro music. There is an Assponys song, Mr. Superlove, that I really dig on. Yeah, and I just wanted to say asspony. Again? ASSPONY! There are also dialogue bits, so I can hear Murray Martini tell off Tyrone Capulet any time I want…

I want to see it again. Again! AGAIN!!!