Grease 2

 

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I think my daughter hates me. I was watching Grease and Grease 2 came on afterwards and she made me watch it, too. Somehow, I had managed to avoid it for the last 42 years. It’s so, SO bad. I give her credit, though – about half way through, she begged to change the channel, but I wouldn’t let her. She must live with the consequences of her bad decisions.

So instead of muscle cars, the thing is motorcycles. And instead of Sandy, the Australian exchange student, we get her cousin Michael, the English exchange student. Good thing Frenchy, the Beauty School Dropout, is around to push the plot along by telling Michael exactly what he needs to do to win Stephanie’s heart. Barf. Strangely enough, she mysteriously disappears halfway through the movie.

Why does everyone except Michelle Pfeiffer look period appropriate? Her hair is just not right, and neither are her clothes. Honestly, I don’t even think that Michelle Pfeiffer is even in the same movie as everyone else.

So many songs – and they are so dumb! Weird as hell songs about bowling and sexual reproduction and going to the grocery store. What the actual fuck? and the Motorcycle Heaven scene – are they fucking kidding? There’s only one explanation – cocaine. Bales and bales of cocaine.

Why is the bad guy the same pitted-face dick from the first movie? So lazy. And why did I have to see so much of Adrian Zmed’s nipples? He just comes off as a dick the whole movie, especially when he is making out with Judy Garland’s daughter. Oh, and Christopher McDonald (he eats pieces of shit for breakfast)! And the Sagal twins – I was OBSESSED with that show Double Trouble!

I didn’t realize that Pamela Adlon is Pamela Segall – she was in one of my favorite movies as a kid – Something Special (AKA Milly/Willy). I need to track that down for my kids to watch.

I hope I never have to sit through this again.