We watch shitty movies, so you don't have to…
Why did Sharknado 4 have to open with a Star Wars-esque opening crawl? Was it because they gave Tara Reid a Light Saber hand? First there was a shark sandnado in Vegas, then a shark bouldernado in the Grand Canyon, followed by a shark oilnado/firenado in Texas. A shark lightningnado heads toward Kansas. Cue Wizard […]
It’s been so long that I had forgotten what it’s like. I actually got out of the house last weekend and got to attend the Houston Premiere of Poultrygeist at the Alamo Drafthouse! Poultrygeist is a love story, wrapped inside of a horror movie, tucked inside of a musical. That’s right, it’s a musical! The […]
Imagine what would happen if I took some acid and started reading Beowulf. Then switched to the bible. Then switched to Children of the Corn. Then decided to try to write a screenplay. Chances are, the results would be really similar to Beware: Children at Play. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Nov 21, […]
So the Wherehouse Music down the road went out of business. A couple months ago, DVDs were 40% off, so I picked up Bad Taste and the Hairspray/Pecker combo. A few weeks ago, DVDs went down to 70% off – and what do I pick up? Girls School Screamers and Toxie III, of course. I […]
The first Superhero from New Jersey is back! In this one, The Toxic Avenger goes to Japan to find his father. I was impressed by the fact that they really filmed in Japan and found some great locations, like the Fish Markets. There was more blood and gore going on in that fish market than […]
Toxie made TROMA a household name. My boyfriend bought me the Director’s Cut DVD, which fully restores all of the bloody glory that had been edited out in past versions. On top of that, there are deleted scenes. Ahhhhhh, the joy that is DVD. Melvin Junko is a dorky mop boy at the Tromaville Health […]
When I was in 11th grade, I was in a class, either World History or Sociology – I don’t remember which, that required me to turn in Current Events, which amounted to finding a newspaper article and writing a page on it, including who, what, when, where, why – that kind of busy work bullshit. […]
This is the first film that I have ever reviewed that is not even in the IMDB. They have 600 Ron Jeremy pornos listed, but no Chupacabras. [note: Legend of the Chupacabra has been added to the IMDB since the date of the original review.] Shitty. I bought it on DVD. For $20. It’s decently […]
From TROMA, of course. Sgt. Kabukiman fights crime with a supersonic fan, chopsticks of death, killer sushi and of course, a big fucking sword. The streets of New York are safer with Sgt. Kabukiman on the job…though a hell of a lot stranger…TROMA brings us a new superhero, even stranger than the Toxic Avenger. It […]
Vile. This is the vilest film I have ever seen. So, of course, I liked it. I had been waiting to see it for a while. It never came out into the theaters in Dallas, I checked. It just came out on video/dvd in January, so I tried to order it from Amazon. Hopelessly back […]