Captain America: Civil War

May 28, 2016

We made it! A few weeks after opeing weekend, but we made it to the theater to see Civil War. I missed The Force Awakens and Deadpool, but I wasn’t about to miss Civil War.

Before I jump in, let’s talk trailers. The most anticipated of the bunch was first – Doctor Strange. Even though he wasn’t sitting next to me, I could tell my husband was about to bust a nut. The trailers then went up and down in quality…Jason Bourne (I only give a shit because they filmed the Vegas car chase in front of my hotel when I was there in January), The Shallows (Ryan Reynolds’ wife fights a shark and I don’t give a shit), Rogue One (looks badass), another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie (gross) and Free State of Jones (Matthew McConaughey fights the confederate army/plantation owners/everyone; I kinda actually wanna watch it).

…and with no delay, Civil War starts with a bang. My very first thought as I was watching was, “Scarlet Witch must not love herself – look at those raggedy ass fingernails!” I wish I was joking…but during the whole Lagos fight scene, all I could think about was how rough her red witch-power balls must be on her nails…oh, and how the length of Black Widow’s hair kept changing from shot to shot. Couldn’t they just pick one wig and stick with it?

Team Cap all the way, even though I don’t particularly care for his character that much. His love for Bucky is just…it’s beautiful. I’m not even making a gay joke – Cap and Bucky is what each of us would hope for in a friendship…a “ride or die” BFF who has your back no matter what. A relationship much deeper than any love story ever could be. I want Cap and Bucky happily ever after more than any other film romance I’ve ever seen…more than Mickey and Mallory, Samantha Baker and Jake Ryan…or even Rose and Billy Zane in Titanic (she should’ve picked Billy Zane, just sayin’). I know I’ll be disappointed…but right now, let me dream of Cap and Bucky riding off into the sunset.

Although the Civil War itself was exciting to watch, the introduction of new Avengers was much more interesting. I already knew what to expect with Ant-Man , but I was apprehensive about Spider-Man. I shouldn’t have worried…I think they got the right Spider-Man. (Disclaimer, I have not seen either of the recent Amazing Spider-Man films.) His wisecracking and exuberance were much more in line with what I expected. To be fair, my expectations are based on the Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends cartoon – so take it as you will.

Black Panther…did he have to look so much like Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman? I was shocked he never started licking himself.

Oh, and that scene at the beginning with the CGI young Robert Downey, Jr. – they nailed it. He looked fresh off the Less Than Zero set and ready to party.

It was good! Better than Ultron, but not quite as good as Winter Soldier. I didn’t think I would miss Thor and Hulk so much, but rumor has it that they’ll be buddying up in Ragnarok. NICE!

Year – 2016
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 147 minutes
Genre – Marvel Universe
Director(s) – Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Writer(s) – Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely, Mark Millar, Joe Simon, Jack Kirby
Actor(s) – Chris Evans, Robert Downey, Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie
BOB Rating – Four BOBs
Favorite Quote – "It's not a onesie." - Peter Parker (Tom Holland)