July 31, 2001

Hack with a Mac? I did’t think so.

For the past 6 years, I had been boycotting this film, soley based on that fact. But the other night, my boyfriend forced me to sit and watch it. Though the film’s depiction of ‘hacking’ was even stupider than I had envisioned, I was surprised at how entertaining the film was anyway.

<rant>I’ll make this quick. I am not a hacker and I don’t know all there is to know about it, but…I was under the impression that you cannot hack with a Macintosh – or can you?…As for their use of payphones – I have yet to see one you could hook a modem up to. You would have to take the sucker apart to even get to the phone line it hooks up to. And the ‘Gibson’? Never heard of it. I won’t even go into the weird glass circuity room thing. I’m done.</rant>

Even after all that, I managed to suspend my disbelief and enjoy the action. Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie had real chemistry. (They should, they ended up getting married after the shoot.) Even though she is pretty skanky, I kind of like Angelina Jolie. She obviously doesn’t give a fuck what people think about her and she obviously believes beauty is only skin deep. (Billy Bob, enough said.) I also like Jonny Lee Miller a great deal, mostly from Trainspotting, since he hasn’t been in a whole lot of films somehow.

I was disturbed by the presence of what my friends refer to as ‘The Lillard.’ He plays the same fucking character in every single film from Serial Mom to Scream to Wing Commander. I can imagine the steaming pile of Scooby Craps that he will be in the live action version of Scooby Doo, though I will happily recant this prediction if he is even barely passable as Shaggy.

SO there, much to my boyfriend’s delight, is my shining review of Hackers, replete with 3 BOBs.


Year – 1995
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 107 minutes
Genre – Techno Thriller
Director(s) – Iain Softley
Writer(s) – Rafael Moreu
Actor(s) – Angelina Jolie, Johnny Lee Miller, Fisher Stevens, Matthew Lillard, Jesse Bradford
BOB Rating – Three BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Kid, don't threaten me. There are worse things than death, and uh, I can do all of them." - The Plague (Fisher Stevens)