Split

I haven’t watched an M. Night film since…Signs – holy shit, that was 16 years ago! But my son watched Split and said it was pretty good, so I decided to give it a spin. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Feb 19, 2018 at 3:20pm PST Split was amazing from beginning to end. […]

Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives

I DVRed this film based on the title alone. Be warned…it could really confuse the other people in your house when they’re scrolling through the DVR, looking for their episode of The Young & The Restless… There’s no false advertising in the title – the film really is about trannies with knives…and they’re really fucking […]

Hard Candy

Ellen Page didn’t get nominated for Hard Candy? If she’s half as good in Juno as she was in Hard Candy, I can see what everyone was so excited about. The story is very basic – Hayley goes to a coffee shop to meet a man she has been chatting with online. He’s a professional […]

Face of Evil

There is not SHIT on TV on Sunday mornings. That’s my story and I am sticking to it…how else can I explain sitting through an entire movie on the Lifetime Movie Network? I wish I could say that I was hungover like my houseguest…but I wasn’t. As the designated/impregnated driver the night before, I merely […]

Poison Ivy II

Starring Alyssa Milano’s boobages. I can’t remember the last time I saw so much gratuitous boobage in a movie. Maybe she thought that showing off her Micellis would prove to the world that she’s a big girl now? It worked pretty well for Drew Barrymore, didn’t it? Drew gets millions of dollars a film now. […]

The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane

I can think of few things worse than getting molestered by Martin Sheen. Apparently, Jodie Foster feels the same way, as she spends the entirety of the film trying to dodge his attentions. Jodie plays Rynn Jacobs, a 13 year old girl whose father is always in his study “working.” As people become curious about […]

Poison Ivy: The New Seduction

If I ran into Jaime Pressly in a dark alley, I would slowly back away until I felt it was safe to run. As soon as it was safe, I’d haul ass, move to another country and change my name. Jaime Pressly stars in the third Poison Ivy Movie as Violet, the sister of Drew […]

Poison Ivy

Remember when Drew Barrymore was skanky? Poison Ivy was the epicenter of Drew Barrymore’ skanky period. It opened up the door for gems like The Amy Fisher Story, Guncrazy and Doppelganger, not to mention a layout for Playboy. By the late 90s, romantic fare like The Wedding Singer and Ever After rehabilitated her image and […]

Sisters

I’m still not sure what to make of Brian De Palma. He’s capable of absolute brilliance Carrie and Scarface, for example. But then again, The Phantom of the Paradise? The fuck? I know that not a small part of my bias against De Palma seems to have been absorbed from my college film professor – […]

The Butterfly Effect

He still kind of sucks – just not totally. He’s actually likable in this mish-mash of a movie. I admit, Kutcher may very well be squeaking by on my residual good will towards the Back to the Future series – because really, this is the SAME FUCKIN’ MOVIE. Even so, Kutcher’s a suitable replacement for […]