August 7, 2008

Written by the main brains behind Reno 911! I can hardly believe it!

Ben Stiller plays an out of work schlub that chances upon a job as nightwatchman at a museum. At night, all the exhibits come to life and try to kill each other. Thank god that the Body Worlds exhibit is not in town, because that shit would definitely make this family film into something out of Clive Barker’s nightmares. Oh man – that would be the funniest Robot Chicken sketch ever! I’m calling Seth Green right now!

Paul Rudd (!!!) plays a douchey bond trader. I think they hired him because he’s tiny like Ben Stiller.

Stephen Sommers was originally attached as director – now all the scenes with Lilliputian (smaller than pygmy!) cowboys and Romans makes sense…however, it doesn’t explain the Brokeback Mountain thing going on between Jedediah and Octavius. (On a side note, the interwebs told me that Steve Coogan introduced Owen Wilson to heroin, after being introduced to it himself by Courtney Love. I wonder if that shit is true?)

I fucking hate it when films end with a disco party scene – every one is dancing and having a good time to “Disco Inferno” and not a care in the world. What a lame-ass, played out cliché. if they had to end it with a party, why not a turn of the century ragtime band? Something from the turn of the century to fit in with Teddy Roosevelt and the rough riders. Or maybe they could have gotten the Ruff Ryders? Little kids love DMX, don’t they?

My son liked the film and asks to watch it every couple of days, although it’s not On Demand anymore, so he’s out of luck. I wish it was – it would be a nice change from the constant Underdog requests.

I’m looking forward to the upcoming sequel – not because I think it will be good, but I can’t wait to see how they work my two favorite Smithsonian exhibits (Kermit the frog and Dorothy’s ruby red slippers) into the plot.


Year – 2006
Rating – PG
Runtime – 108 minutes
Genre – Family Fare
Director(s) – Shawn Levy
Writer(s) – Robert Ben Garant, Thomas Lennon
Actor(s) – Ben Stiller, Carla Gugino, Dick Van Dyke, Robin Williams, Ricky Gervais
BOB Rating – Two BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Civil war guys are brothers, for God's gotta stop fighting...North wins...slavery is bad...sorry...don't want to burst your bubble but South, you guys get the Allman Brothers...and...Nascar. So just chill!" - Larry Daley (Ben Stiller)