February 10, 2000

I hate you, Sean. Why do I hate you? Because you gave away the ending to Payback on my message board about six months ago. I didn’t think I would ever see it, so I didn’t care. For some reason, I ended up watching it last night and so now I hate you. I hope you don’t take it personally.

Okay, I’m better now. I am not exactly a Mel Gibson fan. I have never fantasized about “Mel Gibson, Gynecologist” or anything like that. He kicked a lot of ass in this role though. I would attribute that to the writer though, not Mel. I think that Bruce Campbell would have played the role better. No one can take head trauma like Bruce. I enjoyed the amount of times that Mel Gibson was hit in the head. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I was amused to see James Coburn and Kris Kristofferson back together again after Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid. How come Coburn looks the same and Kristofferson looks like spent 12 hours in a Ronco Food Dehydrator? I wish that Kristofferson would have loaded up a shotgun with dimes and shot Mel Gibson. Is that too much to ask?

I want to be a Chinese Dominatrix. I am a fourth Chinese already, so I think that I can cover being three fourths Dominatrix…The only reason this film got three stars with me was Lucy Liu’s character. I think that Porter should have ended up with her instead of that dumb blonde hooker. I am a romantic at heart…

Year – 1999
Rating – R
Runtime – 100 minutes
Genre – Crime Adventure
Director(s) – Brian Helgeland
Writer(s) – Brian Helgeland
Actor(s) – Mel Gibson, Lucy Liu, Kris Kristofferson, Maria Bello, James Coburn
BOB Rating – Three BOBs
Favorite Quote – "It's okay, he's just shooting my luggage and putting holes in my alligator bags. Man, that's just mean! That's mean, man!" - Fairfax (James Coburn)