The Karate Dog

So this isn’t the long lost sequel to The Karate Kid movies?

Pat Morita taught his dog karate…but that’s where the similarity ends. No Mr. Miyagi here, he’s playing a Chinese dude named Chun Li. (Chun Li? Really???) Cho Cho the dog kicks a lot of ass via bad CGI, but it’s more a Matrix rip-off than wax-on/wax-off. Also, the dog talks and his voice sounds a lot like Chevy Chase. It IS Chevy Chase. I guess this is the best he could do before Community brought him back to relevancy.

The Karate Dog was full of surprises…Director Bob Clark, for one. A Christmas Story and Porky’s…THAT Bob Clark. I was also surprised by Jaime Pressly playing a sweet rookie cop and love interest – it was totally abnormal – no bitchiness at all. I was also surprised that I laughed at the dog party scene. Another surprise? Former gay porn star/MTV Vee-Jay Simon Rex is goofy but likeable as a nerdy cop.

You know what didn’t surprise me? Jon Voight wearing a Changshan and a tiny ponytail. Like Christopher Walken, I suspect that Jon Voight will take absolutely any paying gig. Hey…it beats pawning his Oscar or begging Angie for cash.

As shitty as this movie was, I’d rather watch it 200 more times than watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua again just once. Shitty trumps mediocre every time.