The Karate Kid (2010)

The ‘new’ Karate Kid was so annoying that I started rooting for him to get his narrow ass kicked. Yes, I already know I am a horrible person. I am well aware that I have tiny little rock where my soul should be…my husband actually told me so the other day. But seriously folks, how […]

The Karate Dog

So this isn’t the long lost sequel to The Karate Kid movies? Pat Morita taught his dog karate…but that’s where the similarity ends. No Mr. Miyagi here, he’s playing a Chinese dude named Chun Li. (Chun Li? Really???) Cho Cho the dog kicks a lot of ass via bad CGI, but it’s more a Matrix […]

Ninja Cheerleaders

77 minutes of my life that I will never get back again. That’s right, this piece of shit runs a mercifully short 77 minutes, plus 5-6 minutes of slow running credits. It’s even shorter when you account for 10 second montages of ninja swords, boobs and pom poms between each scene. Actually, those headless boob […]

Kung Fu Panda

Now that Jack Black is a daddy, he’s got to start churning out films that his kids can watch. Kung Fu Panda is certainly watchable. I wasn’t sure that Jack Black could translate his trademark vulgar humor into kid friendly fare, but he picked the right vehicle and the right character. I mean come one, […]

Street Fighter

“In a world where good guys wear blue camo and bad guys wear red camo…” Street Fighter is all about the costumes. The only discernible plot to speak of is the pursuit of each character’s costumes.(I’m not the first person to point this out.) They spent so much time contriving ridiculous situations to get “normal […]

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

I’ve had that song “Black Betty” stuck in my head for weeks now. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Feb 10, 2018 at 11:57am PST Non sequitur – I know. But “Black Betty” plays a significant part in this film. I don’t think I’ll be able to hear “Black Betty” again without thinking of […]

Seed of Chucky

As we were sitting in the dark, waiting for the previews to begin, I was put in the position of rationalizing why I felt it was necessary to go see Seed of Chucky on opening weekend. I tried to explain what a big deal it was – that it was like Lord of the Rings. […]

The Matrix Revolutions

Every day, I get more and more evidence the American public is on CRACK. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Nov 26, 2017 at 1:09pm PST The Matrix Revolutions was a perfectly good ending to a perfectly good trilogy. I can’t, for the life of me, understand why the movie was so roundly panned […]

The Tuxedo

Whose idea was it to match up Jackie Chan with one of the worst actresses to crawl out of the depths Fox’s back lot? That individual needs to be dragged out into the street and shot, run over by a ice cream truck and then shot again. Notwithstanding Jennifer and her “Hewitts,” the movie wasn’t […]

The Matrix Reloaded

Wow. Usually, my first paragraph is much more clever than that, but I am a bit at a loss for words right now. Needless to say, I was more than adequately impressed by The Matrix Reloaded, as was most of the country this past weekend. Let’s just get the obvious question out of the way. […]