We watch shitty movies, so you don't have to…
Seriously? THIS is the best they could come up with? A bunch of pirates racing to find the fountain of youth? If pirates wanted to live forever, wouldn’t they take better care of their eyes and teeth? To be fair, it does pick up right after the third one left off, but still… Was anyone […]
Three hours of my life that I will never get back. At least I broke it up into an hour apiece on three different days. It’s like they decided what special effects they wanted to do and then pieced together a plot to string the special effects together. Compounding that, it’s been so long since […]
This is a stinky movie, full of stinky pirates, stinky villains and a stinky plot to boot. The first one wasn’t a bad film. Making a movie out of a Disneyland attraction was a novel concept back then…before Haunted Mansion and The Country Bears. Johnny Depp was still best known for his role as Edward […]
I brought the newly released DVD with me on my most recent trip home. My sister and i asked my mother if she wanted to watch The Pirate Movie with us. “The one with Johnny Depp?” “No, The Pirate Movie.” “The one with Kristy McNichol? Ohhhh….”, she replied, almost crestfallen. Well, who doesn’t prefer Johnny […]
For some reason, I have this uncontrollable compulsion that causes me to watch The Goonies every single time it’s on TV. I’ve watched it on HBO and I’ve watched it cut to hell on USA and even on the crappy local station. I’ve even watched it on Telemundo, which makes the scene with the maid […]
Contrary to popular belief, it’s PIRATES, not NINJAS, that are so totally sweet that you’ll crap your pants. I’ve always loved pirates. Well, ‘always’ stemming back to when I first saw The Pirate Movie. I loved that movie so much that I started trying to watch other pirate movies – because I thought they must […]