Batman v Superman: The Dawn of Justice

December 11, 2016

As the opening credits rolled, I couldn’t stop laughing. Maggie and Negan as Bruce Wayne’s parents was so stinking cute! My husband just rolled his eyes…he doesn’t watch The Walking Dead.

I was a bit worried that not seeing Man of Steel would be a problem as I sat down to watch Batman v Superman, but it actually kind of helped. The film starts off with the events of Man of Steel from Bruce Wayne’s point of view. “I don’t care if you saved the whole goddamn planet, Superman – you knocked down my fucking building!”

So…sit down for this…I didn’t hate Batfleck. He wasn’t Christian Bale, but he wasn’t George Clooney, either. He was fine. I was ready to lay on the hate…but he did alright. He worked out and got muscley, he didn’t do that smirky thing he usually does. He wasn’t Christian Bale, but he wasn’t George Clooney either. Now…I don’t know that he’s gonna be able to carry a whole universe of films like Robert Downey, Jr. has…but I’m not offended that he’s trying. Honestly, I was expecting to see a bit of Tony Stark’s ego in his portrayal, but all he had was mania. Was Batfleck on PCP?

Now the portrayal I DID like…Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor. I was all in for his millenial millionaire mad genius super-villain. It was interesting to watch and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from him. But isn’t that how it always goes? Super-villains are ALWAYS more fun than the good guys. I mean, he wasn’t as iconic as Ledger’s Joker, but I enjoyed watching the evolution of his character.

As I watched the film, I was consumed to distraction by trying to figure out the geography between Metropolis and Gotham. In my mind, I had always thought them to each be analogues of New York City, but since they both exist in the same universe, that obviously isn’t the case. Lex Luthor clearly refers to Gotham as “across the river”, so does that mean that Gotham is in New Jersey? How did I not know that Gotham is likely Newark or Jersey City? Too bad it’s not Bawwwston – that would be a perfect place for Batfleck.

And what was with all the nightmares? It just came across as lazy storytelling. Actually, I felt like the whole thing was lazy storytelling, especially the ending. (MARTHA!) I think that’s the driver behind the disappointing performance of the film – the sub-par writing didn’t give us the option of critiquing the actors’ performances. Batfleck didn’t have very good material to work with in the first place, so it’s really not fair to assume he’s a bad Batman. Truly, the only character that I was interested in was Wonder Woman. (I don’t think that’s a spoiler, is it?) Her brief scenes set up the upcoming Wonder Woman origin movie, which seems similar in theme to the first Captain America.

No credits cut scenes – I get it DC, you’re doing your own thing – good for you! Instead, they incorporated their teasers for future films into the meat of the movie. I’m about to slide off the couch waiting for that Aquaman movie.

So…it’s wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t awesome. Only time will tell if DC is able to build as good a universe as Marvel has. I’ll be following the development…at home, from the comfort of my couch.