July 15, 2017

I wanted to hate Wonder Woman. Everyone has unanimously loved this movie, so that ugly little bit of 20-something year old, still deep down inside of ME wanted to find something to hate about this movie. To be contrary, to be different…I couldn’t do it. Wonder Woman is every bit as thrilling and enjoyable as the general public says it is. And I’m okay with that. It took me 40+ years, but I have found peace in agreeing with the rest of the planet. I can’t even be mad about it – I’ve loved Wonder Woman for so, so long.

As a kid – I’m talking Pre-K – I idolized Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman. I lived in my Wonder Woman underoos. I got my ass in deep shit for using up the duct tape around my wrists…I needed my magic bracelets! Unless I was being Dorothy, I was being Wonder Woman. And that’s why I am so thrilled that they didn’t fuck up this movie.

And it’s not just because Batman v. Superman (and some would say Suicide Squad) suck so much. If I could somehow forget those movies ever happened and start the DC Extended Universe with Wonder Woman, it would still be a great film. I was expecting a Captain America type origin story, but I was pleasantly surprised to have my expectations shattered as Wonder Woman had more in common with Thor, than anyone else. It’s also intentional that I compare this DC movie to the Marvel ones…it’s THAT good. Until now, it’s just been a given that the DC films are inferior to the Marvel ones…but Wonder Woman proves that it’s possible for DC to put aside Zack Snyder’s insanity and spit out a good film.

I’d be remiss if I did not give proper credit to both of the women responsible. Gal Gadot, I’m so sorry I assumed you’d be a shitty Amazon. You’re not all that muscular, but you kicked ass anyway. You made this film while 5 months pregnant. It was all I could do to drive to Dairy Queen and get a Blizzard when I was 5 months pregnant. And to Patty Jenkins…the world kind of forgot about you after Monster, but I’m thinking they’ll remember now.

Chris Pine…I can’t remember, do I like him or not? I’m pretty sure I don’t have an opinion. But every time I remember that his dad was the boss on CHiPs, then I think I must like him.

Can Danny Huston be the villain in every movie, please?

So, without a hint of irony, it was not at all a waste of $30 to take my family to see Wonder Woman in the theater. It was entertaining, if a bit long. I’m looking forward to Justice League that much momoa, um, I mean more.

Oh yeah…trailer report! Blade Runner 2049 looks interesting, although unnecessary. Geostorm looks like some SyFy Channel bullshit. Another Transformers movie…this time they join King Arthur…huh? Hitman’s Bodyguard…yeah, I think I DO wanna see Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson in a buddy movie, thankyouverymuch. Atomic Blonde is the one I’m most interested in. I’ve seen the trailer before, but I’m still intrigued by the poetic violence. Oh! And Murder on the Orient Express…I read the book when I was about my son’s age, but I cannot rememberwho did it. My son got all excited about Leslie Odom, Jr. It was sooooo cute.

Year – 2017
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 141 minutes
Genre – DC Comics
Director(s) – Patty Jenkins
Writer(s) – Allan Heinberg
Actor(s) – Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Connie Nielsen, Robin Wright, Danny Huston
BOB Rating – Three BOBs
Favorite Quote – "They came to the conclusion that men are essential for procreation, but when it comes to pleasure... unnecessary." - Diana Prince (Gal Gadot)