A Tale of Two Coreys

I felt dirty just watching this. A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Mar 16, 2018 at 9:10pm PDT Lifetime is already known for shitty, exploitive “biopics”, like the ones they did on Saved by the Bell and Full House. This one goes one step further into the abyss, by skipping past petty grievances and […]

The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story

Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why do I keep watching crappy Lifetime biopics? Am I getting so close to middle age that I just can’t stop myself? I’d like to say that I never watched Saved by the Bell when it was originally on, but as a child of the 80s, it […]

Behind the Candelabra

Needed more sodomy. I don’t consider myself to be a connoisseur of sodomy…I’m a dabbler, really. An amateur sodomite, if you will. I can appreciate the finer points of buggery, but really I know just enough to be dangerous. That being said, there was a dissapointing lack of hot action in Behind the Candelabra. After […]

Liz & Dick

I’m just going to pile on to the rest of the fucking planet and say that Liz & Dick was one of shittiest movies I’ve ever seen. As a rule, Lifetime movies are shit, but they’ve hit a new low with Liz & Dick. Lindsay Lohan is bearing most of the criticism for the atrociousness […]

Where the Buffalo Roam

It’s not Bill Murray’s fault. Bill Murray is a good Hunter S. Thompson. He’s got the weird cadence down. The walk, the talk, the nuttiness. Murray reportedly spent time hanging out with Thompson to pick up his mannerisms, some of which he seemed to hang onto long after the movie was done. Personally, I prefer […]

Gacy

I know you are, but what am I? It was an interesting experience to see Francis (Pee Wee’s Big Adventure) burying teenage boys in his crawlspace instead of stealing bikes. Mark Holton has evolved from playing Pee Wee Herman’s nemesis to playing a real life serial killer – John Wayne Gacy. Although I began watching […]

Inside the Osmonds

One minute, I’m watching 80s Metal Videos on VH-1 Classic and all of a sudden, I find myself an hour into a made for TV biopic on the Osmonds. I figured that since I was already halfway through, I might as well keep on watching to see which one of them turns to drugs or […]

Monster

Monster almost makes up for The Astronaut’s Wife and The Cider House Rules. Almost. I find it nearly impossible to forgive stars for inflicting bad performances and/or bad movies upon the public. As much as I love Kyle MacLachlan, I’ll never forgive him for The Flintstones. The same goes for Matthew Broderick – The Cable […]

Man on the Moon

Pretty good film, considering how much I loathe Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey sucks. I don’t know why. I liked him before he sold out, when he was on In Living Color and in films like Once Bitten and Earth Girls are Easy. But once he started talking with his ass, it all went downhill from […]