April 29, 2006

Another killer doll movie?

After 8 years and almost 300 reviews…it’s probably obvious that I have a thing for killer dolls. I’ll always tune in for the exploits of the Demonic Toys, the Puppet Master, Dollman, the Blood Dolls of of course, the king of them all – Chucky. So of course, I’ve got to watch Dolls – another killer doll flick executive produced by Charles Band (responsible for all of the franchises above except for the Chucky films) and it’s directed by Stuart Gordon of Re-Animator fame.

Dolls follows the “stranded motorist” formula to the letter. These stranded motorists, caught in a storm, must seek refuge in a creepy mansion. In this case, the motorists are a dysfunctional family – father, daughter and evil step-mother. It took me awhile to figure out that the step mother was NOT a man in drag – she’s just kind of ugly. Anyway, she was wearing a turban for most of the movie – I guess to give off that evil queen in Snow White vibe. More stranded motorists show up – a big goofy guy and two hitchhiking punk hookers. The punk hookers were dressed like Madonna circa Like a Virgin. The owners of the house are an elderly, doll-making couple. DANGER! PEOPLE WHO MAKE DOLLS ONLY MAKE MURDEROUS DOLLS! THEY WILL ALSO TURN YOU INTO A CRAZY KILLER DOLL! DOLLMAKERS ARE FUCKING CRAZY! This rule should be added to the list of horror movie rules, because it’s always fucking true.

I thought I recognized the first punk hooker victim of the killer dolls. She looked familiar in an MTV kind of way. After checking imdb, I found out I was right – she was the chick in the A-Ha video. (Don’t ask which A-Ha video – you know there was only one.)

The scene at the beginning with the giant killer teddy bear reminded me of that Bjork video. I wonder if this is where she got that idea?

I noticed during the credits that the movie was filmed in Rome, Italy. Does that mean it’s a Spaghetti Slasher?

Slow starting…but worth watching for the doll attack scenes – especially the tin soldier firing squad.

Year – 1987
Rating – R
Runtime – 77 minutes
Genre – Killer Dolls
Director(s) – Stuart Gordon
Writer(s) – Ed Naha
Actor(s) – Ian Patrick Williams, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon, Carrie Lorraine, Stephen Lee, Guy Rolfe
BOB Rating – Two BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Toys are very loyal, and that is a fact." - Gabriel (Guy Rolfe)