Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

April 21, 2009

In honor of 4/20, I present to you a film worthy of being watched on 4/20…

In my review of Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny, I complain about it being a stoner comedy that is probably only funny when stoned. Some stoner comedies, however, are hilarious no matter what. Harold and Kumar are still funny, no matter what state of consciousness you are in. (They’re not as funny escaping from Guantanamo Bay as they are going to White Castle, but still pretty fucking funny nonetheless.)

The sequel picks up immediately after the first one ends. Harold and Kumar decide to follow Maria (Harold’s one true love) to Amsterdam. In the airport, the guys run into Vanessa (Kumar’s ex and one true love) and her new fiancé. Kumar cannot wait to get to Amsterdam and lights up a bong (that appears to be fashioned from a penis pump?) in the airplane bathroom, which gets them shipped to Guantanamo Bay, where they are offered delicious cockmeat sandwiches. They escape to Florida, then decide to head to Texas to get political help from Vanessa’s new fiancé…you see where this is going, huh?

Hells yeah, Neil Patrick Harris is back. The Doogster rescues the duo and demands a brothel pit stop. This is after successfully thwarting a road blockade with a psychedelic trip on a unicorn. I don’t mean to sound queer or nothin’ – but unicorns kick ASS!

I knew what a “blumpkin” was before I saw this movie…and NO, I have never participated in one. Don’t remember what a “blumpkin” is? Don’t email me about it – go to Urban Dictionary or JustFuckingGoogleIt.

I’m sure you are all aware that Kumar, er Kal Penn, has taken a job working for Barack Obama in the Office of Public Liaison. Obviously, that means that Obama is a Harold and Kumar fan – I mean come on, if you’re going to hire someone for a job, you read their resume. An actor’s resume is his body of work, so Obama must be familiar with Kal’s films. Kal’s new gig at the White House is an implicit “thumbs up” for Harold and Kumar. Does this mean that Cheech Marin has a shot at getting a job in the Department of Foreign Affairs? What about Dave Chappelle in the Department of the Interior? I’d settle for a presidential pardon for Tommy Chong…