Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

February 11, 2000

I was the last person on earth to see this film, but I finally did. Early, early – one Thursday morning in November, I awoke to watch it. The Blockbuster Fairy did good this time.

I am quick to understand the most bizarre of Limey accents, but this film was one step away from Riff Raff, a film with British accents so unintelligable that it required subtitles. I didn’t have much of a problem understanding it though, besides, I had a translator with me who had seen it at least 20 times.

I loved this film. The plot was a beautiful maze which, unlike most films made since the ultimate in plot twists, The Usual Suspects, did not seem contrived. It is so hard these days to make a film that keeps audiences on the edge of their seat without just throwing logic out the window. The plot can be summed up in my favorite quote, which you can read above. I will refrain from describing any plot development, just in case there is one soul left who hasn’t seen it yet.

Go drink at The Londoner – Beltline and Midway, in Addison (bitchass yuppie section of Dallas). It is trying to be a British pub, but more importantly, they have the soundtrack in the Jukebox. The music rocked and there are the obligatory bits of dialogue in between. “Spooky” by Dusty Springfield is such a super-erotic song, I cannot resist playing it every time I go in there. That song always reminds me of a certain person, hmmmm…

Now maybe I will finally get around to seeing The Full Monty…


Year – 1998
Rating – R
Runtime – 105 minutes
Genre – Heist
Director(s) – Guy Ritchie
Writer(s) – Guy Ritchie
Actor(s) – Jason Flemyng, Jason Statham, Dexter Fletcher, Nick Moran, Sting
BOB Rating – Four BOBs
Favorite Quote – "There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a fucking big pile of corpses." - Eddy (Nick Moran)