July 4, 2007

Any film that involves the psychological torture of a member of New Kids on the Block is ACES in my book. Add to that the fact that one of the little bitches from 7th Heaven is being slowly poisoned and coughing up blood…you’ve got a horror film guaranteed to satisfy.

Saw II has the definite distinction of being one of the few horror sequels that does not suffer from a sharp decline in quality from the first one. I’d almost even say that it was better than the first one…it was clever, but didn’t feel tacked on – it was almost like a natural progression of the first film’s plot. I wish I would have seen it before the third one came out, because knowing a bit about the third one made the twist in this one obvious – but you know what? Knowing about Amanda didn’t take anything away from the film – it almost made it better.

They’re making Saw IV right now…this could go on a while, huh? Won’t they run out of gross-outs? I don’t think they could go farther than the Needle Pit.

Having just finished reviewing Elmo in Grouchland, I would love to see a Muppet version of Saw…what made me think of Muppet Saw? At Target yesterday, I came upon an abomination of a product – Elmo brand Cherry flavored Applesauce. This stuff was the brightest red looking food product I have ever seen. It was like mashed Maraschino cherries, but also the exact color of Elmo’s fur? I contemplated buying it and serving it up to my son as “Mashed Elmo.” Of course my husband was abhorred and thought that it would damage him for life, but I’m not so sure. I think he would realize that Mommy is just being silly and happily eat his Maraschino cherry flavored ElmoSauce. But what if it DID fuck him up? What if he started dismembering his Elmo doll and putting it into sadistic torture situations? What if he carved puzzle pieces out of Elmo’s hide? I didn’t buy the ElmoSauce.


Year – 2005
Rating – R
Runtime – 93 minutes
Genre – Horror Sequel
Director(s) – Darren Lynn Bousman
Writer(s) – Leigh Whannell, Darren Lynn Bousman
Actor(s) – Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Donnie Wahlberg, Dina Meyer, Erik Knudsen
BOB Rating – Three BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Oh, yes, there will be blood." - John (Tobin Bell)