June 22, 2008

Just because there’s internet buzz, it doesn’t mean people will actually pay money to see your shitty movie. Hasn’t Hollywood learned that internet memes are not profitable? Do they think that Chocolate Rain guy is rolling in dough?

This movie was full of enough bullshit to fill 3 or 4 very special episodes of MythBusters. The effect of pheromones on snakes. The likelihood that a guy can land a plan after logging 2,000 hours on PS2 flight simulator game. The hetero male flight attendant. Snakes with a taste for genitalia. Shit, they’ve already busted “explosive decompression.”

That being said, the film gets an additional BOB for the snakes that eats dick, but that BOB is taken right back because of the titty chomping snake. Then I give that extra BOB back for the chihuahua eating snake.

David Koechner is fucking hilarious, as usual. Kenan Thompson is not funny, as usual.

I guess Samuel L. Jackson decided that they didn’t need to bring the bad guy – the one who put those motherfucking snakes on that motherfucking plane – to trial. They just went surfing instead? Huh? Stupidest. Ending. Ever.

Guilty admission – I really like the theme song by Cobra Starship. It’s been on my ipod for about 2 years, even though I just finished watching the movie last night. Speaking of – I started watching the film over 2 months ago, while I was still on maternity leave, but I never got around to finishing it.

That stewardess is totally gonna fuck Samuel L. Jackson in a dirty hotel room tonight. I would too, if he saved me from titty chomping snakes!


Year – 2006
Rating – R
Runtime – 105 minutes
Genre – Communing with Nature?
Director(s) – David R. Ellis
Writer(s) – John Heffernan, Sebastian Gutierrez
Actor(s) – Samuel L. Jackson, Julianna Margulies, Nathan Phillips, Lin Shaye, David Koechner
BOB Rating – One BOB
Favorite Quote – "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" - Neville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson)