6-Headed Shark Attack

  View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Sep 26, 2018 at 4:32pm PDT How many heads could a 6-headed shark give, if a head-giving 6-headed shark could give head? The set-up to the shark feeding frenzy is ridiculously frustrating. A bunch of couples are stranded on a desert […]

Pet Sematary II

  View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Sep 7, 2018 at 10:00am PDT Remember the early 90s, when Edward Furlong was in every fucking movie? What a time to be alive. I can’t remember for sure, but I might even have seen it in the theater? Or maybe […]

The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time

A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Aug 28, 2018 at 6:21pm PDT I don’t care what they call that damn movie, I really doubt it’s the last one. (Are you sensing a certain cynicality in me, when it comes to franchises? You’re goddamn right you are!) As the last film ended, everyone on the […]

Lake Placid: Legacy

I told you so. The Final Chapter is never, EVER, the final chapter. There’s always another chapter. And sometimes, even another chapter after that! The film starts in Las Vegas, with some kind of break-in, but not to steal something. They were hanging a banner. Whooooooa, what a bunch of badasses. I think they are […]

Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies

There has been nothing on my TV but the Winter Olympics for the last 2 weeks…so why not just go with it and watch a movie full of Snowboarders? I’m talking Mountain Dew, baby! A post shared by Lara (@knobbygirl) on Feb 20, 2018 at 4:37pm PST Obviously, I was drawn in by the title […]

5 Headed Shark Attack

In case you’re wondering, there’s no 4 Headed Shark Attack movie – the franchise skips straight from 3 Headed Shark Attack to 5 Headed Shark Attack. This kind of makes sense…because for the first half of the movie, the shark only has 4 heads…but for no discernable reason, the shark sprouts a 5th head out […]

Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

After destroying every landmark in America over the last four movies, the 5th Sharknado movie goes global, with the latest Sharknado erupting out of a cave beneath Stonehenge. There’s not much to the plot. The Sharknado came back and now it can teleport you to anywhere on the planet. Yup, it can pick you up […]

Trailer Park Shark

That Tara Reid, she sure does have bad luck with sharks. Tara Reid isn’t the only C-list celeb on board. The REAL star is Thomas Ian Nicholas, coincidentally Tara Reid’s boyfriend in American Pie. He’s the asskicking trailer park dude, who fixes everything with duct tape. Also, we’ve got Mr. Belding (the principal from Saved […]

Mississippi River Sharks

Two Londons for the price of one! Jason London (Dazed and Confused) stars as “himself” – a fictionalized version of the actor, who stars in the “Shark Bites” movie franchise. He must have a pretty good sense of humor, because he plays “himself” as an utter douchebag. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was […]

Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens

Why did Sharknado 4 have to open with a Star Wars-esque opening crawl? Was it because they gave Tara Reid a Light Saber hand? First there was a shark sandnado in Vegas, then a shark bouldernado in the Grand Canyon, followed by a shark oilnado/firenado in Texas. A shark lightningnado heads toward Kansas. Cue Wizard […]