July 18, 2004

Let me get my gripes out of the way first…

The title sucks. What was wrong with “The Amazing Spider-Man”? Or how about “Spider-Man Returns” or “Spider-Man Forever,” ala Batman. Even “Spider-Man II” would have been better than “Spider-Man 2.” There’s just something so trashy and Police Academy-esque about arabic numerals in film titles. Don’t even get me started on bullshit like Cradle 2 the Grave.

As for the dialogue, there were too many goddamn speeches. I especially hated Aunt May’s hero speech. It was long and awkward and contrived. Don’t tell me that it’s a throwback to the comic book style – I don’t care. If I’m watching a movie, I don’t particularly want it to sound like a comic book panel, even if the movie is based on a comic book.

One more thing – when the landlord’s daughter invites Peter over for “chocolate cake,” why does she feed him yellow cake? I appreciate that it’s yellow cake with chocolate frosting – but if someone pulled a bait and switch like that with ME, I’d be super-pissed. Yellow cake is gross.

OK, I’m done ranting now. Other than a few nitpicky things, it was good movie. About what you’d expect. Standard Superman II format. Bruce Campbell and Ted Raimi made their appearances. An Evil Dead reference was made. No surprises here.

I was surprised by how much Spider-Man kept revealing his secret identity. He couldn’t keep his mask on to save his life. And I don’t care what the people on the train say – at least one of them is gonna sell their secret to the National Enquirer.

So it’s a foregone conclusion that Spider-Man 3 is gonna be made. Let’s just hope they get a little more creative with the title next time around. I have to say that I liked the Green Goblin Junior set-up at the end, but I hope he’s not the only villain in the movie. I also hope they don’t decide that Spider-Man needs some friends – remember Ice-Man and Fire-Star? That would really suck.


Year – 2004
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 127 minutes
Genre – Comic Book Adaptation, Sequel
Director(s) – Sam Raimi
Writer(s) – Stan Lee, Alvin Sargent
Actor(s) – Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Alfred Molina
BOB Rating – Four BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Yeah it's kind of itchy...it sometimes rides up in the crotch too..." - Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire) talking about his suit