December 18, 2002

It’s December 18, 2002. The Two Towers opened today. I just happened to have the day off work, so what better way to spend the day…than seeing the new Star Trek movie???

Seriously, we intended to go see Star Trek today – we’ve been planning on it for a week or so. Not that we don’t want to see more Hobbit adventures, but the lines…no way, jose! Besides, I think we may want to catch a night viewing at the IMAX….

But back to Star Trek. I’m not much of a Trekkie…unlike my other half. I have never seen any of the other nine Star Treks, just bits and pieces. I have seen at least half of the Next Generation episodes, no thanks to TNN showing at least 5 episodes a day. I bought Russ the first season on DVD, so he could watch it while I’m asleep…nope, hasn’t changed a thing. Anyway, the film was put together well enough that I really didn’t feel like I was missing anything – I could pretty well tell what was going on most of the time.

Shinzon was a kickass villain! He should be a James Bond villain next! He was slimy and creepy – he kind of reminded me of the Strangers from Dark City. Unfortunately, he resembled a young Dr. Evil more than a young Jean-Luc Picard. I really kept expecting a stray pinky to wander up to his lip…speaking of lips! Shinzon’s lips were all wrong! Patrick Stewart pretty much has no lips, while Tom Hardy could give Angelina Jolie a run for her money. The lips totally broke the illusion. Maybe Shinzon got punched in the mouth a lot down in the Dilithium Mines?

Beware the scorned woman! Remember, if you turn down the sexual advances of a Romulan woman, she will definitely turn sides later in the film. That is such bullshit! There just wasn’t sufficient evidence for me to believe that she would turn renegade like that!

I was really disappointed that the android they found wasn’t Lor, but some retarded beta Data named B4. Unfortunately, it seems likely that B4 will be back.

Also, not enough Worf time. He really didn’t do shit for the entire film – what a waste! He should have been the one fighting the Remon, not Riker! He also didn’t get naked as hinted at earlier in the film. Hrmph!

Decent enough waste of an afternoon – better than being at work, at any rate.


Year – 2002
Rating – PG-13
Runtime – 116 minutes
Genre – Star Trek Sequel
Director(s) – Stuart Baird
Writer(s) – John Logan
Actor(s) – Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn
BOB Rating – Three BOBs
Favorite Quote – "A warrior does not appear without his clothing. It leaves him... vulnerable." - Worf (Michael Dorn)