December 9, 2011

The first time I saw Toy Story 3, I totally started crying when Andy finally handed Woody over to Bonnie. Even now, roughly 537 viewings later, I still get all weepy at the end…so weepy that I get paranoid that I need to take a pregnancy test or something.

Lots of people cry during movies – it’s nothing to be ashamed of, necessarily – but NOT ME. I just don’t do it. It’s exceedingly rare that a film moves me to the extent that the waterworks start flowing. Only a few come to mind – Ma Vie en Rose (the one about the little gay French kid, not Edith Piaf), Wild at Heart (although I admit, I might have been fucked up) and Armageddon (don’t judge me, Motherfucker – I have daddy issues). My eyes did get slightly watery the first time I saw the trailer for A Dolphin Tale, but there’s virtually no chance I’ll sit through that movie, so it doesn’t count.

Crying aside, the whole movie is really good. It goes without saying that Barbie and Ken are my favorite part of the whole film. Is it sad that I recognized all of Ken’s vintage outfits? Or that I still wish I had gotten a Workout Barbie when I was a kid? One thing…how did PIXAR manage to slide in all those “almost” gay jokes? I say “almost” because none of them were vicious, but just on the edge of politically correct. Well played, PIXAR, well played…

As I mentioned above, Toy Story 3 is one of the films my kids are currently obsessing over. As they have it on DVD and on the DVR, it’s in double rotation. I can’t complain, it’s one of the least shitty movies that I watch each week. They actually have all 3 Toy Story films on the DVR. Occasionally, they watch Toy Story, but they never, ever watch Toy Story 2. Does that mean that Toy Story 2 sucks shit? I haven’t watched it yet either, so I don’t really know…

One caveat…Toy Story 3 may turn your children into hoarders, reluctant to give up their toys to an unknown future. To combat this, I regularly force my children to watch Hoarders. They’re not OCD clean freaks…yet. My proudest moment was a few days ago, when my son actually asked my husband if we could watch Hoarders during dinner. “Hell NO,” was my husband’s response. I may have lost the battle, but I’m winning the war.

Year – 2010
Rating – G
Runtime – 103 minutes
Genre – PIXAR
Director(s) – Lee Unkrich
Writer(s) – John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich, Michael Arndt
Actor(s) – Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Michael Keaton, Ned Beatty, Joan Cusack
BOB Rating – Four BOBs
Favorite Quote – "Barbie! Not the Nehru!" - Ken (Michael Keaton)