The Butterfly Effect

He still kind of sucks – just not totally. He’s actually likable in this mish-mash of a movie. I admit, Kutcher may very well be squeaking by on my residual good will towards the Back to the Future series – because really, this is the SAME FUCKIN’ MOVIE. Even so, Kutcher’s a suitable replacement for […]

Runaway Jury

What would you do if you woke up Christmas morning and found your spouse sitting on the couch watching a John Grisham movie? Well, normally, I would throw a shit fit and pout and whine until the channel was changed, but the spirit of Christmas seized me. While my heart didn’t exactly grow three sizes […]

Kill Me Later

If I found out that my lover’s wife was pregnant on the same day that my goldfish died, I might just become suicidal too. …And a suicidal woman is exactly the best person for a bank robber to choose as a hostage, right? If you love wacky hijinks, it is! Okay, the hijinks aren’t exactly […]

Spy Game

It took everything I had to sit through this load of bullshit. First off, Brad Pitt is only in it for 20 minutes or so. And except for the very beginning and the very end, he is only seen through flashbacks. Don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those sad girls who will […]

You sure got a purty mouth, boy....

Deliverance

Starring Ned “Weeeea Weeeea” Beatty! Sorry, that’s a habit I picked up from my college film professor – I am unable to refer to Ned Beatty in any other way – he’s not Lex Luthor’s sidekick and although I liked him in Ed and His Dead Mother, Ned will always make me think of hillbilly […]

Swordfish

It didn’t suck as bad as I thought it would. Don’t get me wrong, it certainly did suck. It didn’t suck with the power of a thousand crackwhores, as I expected it would. I’d say that it occupies the middle ground between Battlefield Earth and Hackers. Speaking of Hackers, the “hacking” portrayed in Swordfish wasn’t […]

Double Jeopardy

Hmmmm…what a dumb bitch. I really didn’t feel a sense of urgency to see this, since it seemed like the trailer pretty much showed the whole film. So I waited until it came on cable and had nothing better to do – and found that I was right. It was a decent film to watch, […]

Hackers

Hack with a Mac? I did’t think so. For the past 6 years, I had been boycotting this film, soley based on that fact. But the other night, my boyfriend forced me to sit and watch it. Though the film’s depiction of ‘hacking’ was even stupider than I had envisioned, I was surprised at how […]

Wild at Heart

One of most romantic films ever. It was on The Independent Film Channel the other night, and whenever it’s on TV, I just can’t resist watching it, even though I have it on tape. Like most films by David Lynch, Wild at Heart affects me so emotionally, that I almost cry. Cry like most women […]

Psycho (1998)

A shot by shot remake of Psycho – what’s the fucking point? This was a pointless waste of celluloid. If you’re gonna remake any film, much less a classic – you should have something to add. The only thing that was added were Anne Heche’s miniscule breasts and Vince Vaughn jacking off. Neither were necessary […]