Captain America: The First Avenger

I was excited to see that Captain America finally showed up on Netflix this month…if only because I might still have a chance to see The Avengers in the theater. As irritating as Chris Evan was as the cocky Human Torch, he was only slightly less irritating as the not at all cocky Captain America. […]

Thor

If I had been a boy, my parents would have named me Thor. True story. I once dressed as Thor for Halloween. Sexy Thor. 1995. Last year, I dressed as Flavor Flav, but I had to buy a new Viking hat, because my old one was hidden in my hoarder piles of shit. True story. […]

Iron Man 2

Why does Iron Man have his own cheerleaders?!? If he’s the Hugh Hefner of Superheroes, shouldn’t he have strippers? I was SO excited that they replaced Terence Howard with Don Cheadle, but when it came down to it, I don’t know if Don Cheadle was right for the role either. I can’t think of someone […]

Iron Man

I want to see The Avengers. I want to see it in 3D. But my husband doesn’t want to go see it until he he sees all the films leading up to it, so we’re in a mad dash to see them all while The Avengers is still in the theaters. So here we go… […]

X-Men: First Class

Forget Wolverine, I totally have a crush on Magneto now. Michael Fassbender hasn’t even been on my radar until now. My movie watching has been sporadic at best – I haven’t seen 300, or even Inglorious Basterds, although I’ve had both in my DVR at times. (I lost 300 when we moved a few years […]

Batman

“Mommy, they sure do spend a lot of time together…” Four years old son’s gaydar is already strong – I’m so proud! It only took about 15 minutes to come to the conclusion that something isn’t right about those two…and these are the ones without nipples on their costumes. Regardless of their sexual orientation, my […]

Howard the Duck

For the second movie night, my son was given a choice between Space Chimps and Howard the Duck – Howard the Duck won. While I giggled with glee, my husband just groaned. Holy shit, this movie was worse than I remembered. Like The Pirate Movie, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and Earth Girls are […]

The Incredible Hulk

How horrible must a film be to require a complete franchise reboot five years later? The answer is Ang Lee’s attempt to make an arthouse film out of Hulk in 2003. (I’ll also accept repeated attempts at The Punisher in 1989, 2004 and 2008.) Eric Bana is butt ugly and his ears bother the shit […]

The Dark Knight

It’s only July and I’ve already gotten to see a second film in the theater – will wonders ever cease? I took Friday off, because I might well have had a nervous breakdown if I didn’t have a real day off soon. I decided that the best use of that day off would be to […]

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Even my three year old liked the first one better than this one. Oh, he didn’t say it in so many words, but I could tell that he was bored. He was glued to the couch for the first one, but after about 30 minutes into this one he made his way to the computer […]